Things to know

Regularly read by 50,000+ readers in over 140 countries around the world, "Dear Bro Jo" is published every Monday, Wednesday and Friday (with occasional additional posts, too).

This is column is just one guy's opinion, and while he does his best to keep what he thinks, says and writes in-line with the Gospel of Jesus Christ, Bro Jo is not a spokesman or authority for the LDS Church. (And Sister Jo thinks you should know that he's sometimes wrong, and often way too opinionated for his own good.)

Nothing here is meant to take the place of talking with parents, leaders, or Church authorities. Please, if you need serious help, talk to a trusted adult, leader, and / or professional counselor.

Please like our Facebook page, and check it often for Discussions, Notes, Events and just General Good Stuff!

Everything here is copyrighted. If you're going to quote any part of anything here, please get Bro Jo's written permission. You can reach him at dearbrojo@gmail.com.

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Will They Still Be In Love When the Missions Are Done?

Dear Bro Jo,

I normally wouldn't do anything like this but I've reached a very confusing point and a man's insight would be great.

There's a guy I know who just left on his mission.

He's a bit older than most missionaries because he's a fairly new member to the Church.

We met at school through an organization where he was an advisor type of a person to me.

My first year we went on one date and it was terribly awkward, but a crush started to form.

My second year we became practically inseparable.

We spent about 85 % of our time not in classes together.

This summer I moved back home and I began preparing for my own mission.

We received our calls pretty much at the same time and we still remained in almost constant contact through it all.

I know he's serving The Lord, and that I will be soon.

I'm not too worried about marriage, but I've got to know if there's some chance we might end up together.

I'd love for that to happen.

I've tried asking what he thinks and he's said things like "look forward to what will be" but he just won't tell me any straight answers.

So, my question is:  does it sound like there's a chance?

And how do I keep that going while remaining completely appropriate in my letters and not allowing him to distract myself, or becoming a distraction to him?

You're awesome!

Sincerely.

- Called to Serve and a Bit Confused




Dear Called,

The answer is: you DON'T keep it going.

Focus on your mission and let him focus on his.

That's it.

Whether or not there's a chance you two could end up married is a topic that no one should worry about until you come home.

- Bro Jo

1 comment:

Megan said...

This is something my sister is going through. She was dating this guy through high school (I know it's wrong) and they have decided that they are getting married when both are done on their mission. The plan is that he goes on his mission, then she goes on hers, and then somehow they meet up afterwards and get married.

In a way, them dating helped him to go on a mission. He has been in the MTC now for a few days and she has wrote nothing to him about marriage and encourages him to serve well. Our whole family sees them getting married after they get back, but a part of me worries for them.

On paper, it looks like a terrible situation. I wouldn't advise anyone to do what they are doing. But, if it was to work for anyone, I could see it working for them. But I also know that the prophets have advised young adults not to wait for missionaries. So, I don't know what to think. So, I guess I'll let my sister live her life and figure out what is best for her.