Should She Choose the Mission or the Boyfriend?

Dear Bro Jo,

I just want to say I love your blog and Facebook page!

So I would like some advice about things.

First about a mission.

When it was first announced about the age change I didn't think much of it and when people would ask me if I was planning on going on a mission I told them no. My reason was because at that time I was going to (location withheld) to teach English to children.

I am currently here (I have been for a few months) and while here for a while I seriously started thinking about going on a mission.

I don't know when exactly or why exactly it came on, maybe because I have a lot of friends that are on missions and going on missions, but one day while working on lesson plans for my classes I had the thought that maybe I should go on a mission.

I thought a lot about it, talked with a few close friends and my sister and mom about it. They all thought I would be a great missionary and were supportive but I was still unsure.

Well, I thought that I had come to a decision that I would go to school for another semester then go on a mission but then while I was on vacation at the beginning of November I was unsure. Let me explain why.

There is this guy let’s call him E.

Well E and I went on a few dates before I left. He is a great guy, RM, worthy priesthood holder, funny and smart and sweet. He is really into me but before I came here I wasn't sure how I felt about him. I mean, I thought he was a great guy and all but I didn't know how much I liked him.

Well while here E and I have been talking a lot and we have Skyped a number of times too. He asked me at one point to be his GF but I decided not to because I don't want to do long distance right now.

He is supportive of my decision if I go on a mission but he did admit that part of him doesn't want me to go because he wants to see where things would go with me and him.

Well, I am not sure if I like him or not now. I don't know if I like him and want to date him or if I just miss having someone give me that attention seeing as while I am here I haven't dated at all.


There is also this other guy.

We will call him H.

I really like him.

We met during this last summer at country swing dancing. We connected on like everything. The only problem, he was going on a mission.

Correction, he is now on his mission.

I am fully supportive of him and we do email as a missionary and a friend email so don't worry I am not distracting him.

We did talk before he left about possible being together after his mission. We both felt that it could work.

Back to the mission stuff.

E has been kinda wanting me to decide and I have been thinking about it and praying about it but I feel like I haven't really received an answer as to if I should say yes or no.

He hasn't been pressuring me to have an answer too much but I do know he wants me to have an answer. I just want to make sure if I go on a mission it is for the right reasons.

When I first had the desire I thought it would be so amazing to be able to teach people the gospel. I love teaching kids English. The thing is, I am afraid of leaving.

While here I have missed my family so much and I have been able to Skype them and email them and FB message them a lot.

If I went on a mission I would only be able to message them once a week and Skype them twice a year, if that.

I also know that if I went on a mission I would be home probably around the same time as H gets home from his mission.

I want to be sure that I am going for the right reasons and not to avoid anything.

I don't think those are my reasons but I keep going back and forth about the mission idea.

So my questions are:

What is your advice about all of this?

About the mission and about E and H.

If you have any questions or need anything feel free to ask and I will do my best to answer.

- Unsure




Dear Unsure,

Sometimes when we're not certain which path to follow the best decision to make is the one to wait.

You don't mention how much longer you'll be teaching, but perhaps before making a choice you should finish your time there, go home, date your Skype pal a few times and then see how you feel.

- Bro Jo




Dear Bro Jo,

I only have about a week before I will be going home.

- Unsure




Dear Unsure

Then I think you're definitely in "wait and see" mode.

- Bro Jo