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Friday, April 10, 2015

Helping the High School Boyfriend Prepare for a Mission

Dear Bro Jo,

I am a girl who is 16 years of age who is currently dating a guy age of 18 who is preparing to leave on his mission.

I ask him all the time if I ever become a distraction to let me know and I will back off.

He says I have not.

But, he is struggling.

He is behind a lot of credits to graduate...I really want to help him so he can leave!

He put his papers in already and his call should be coming soon.

I have been nothing but encouraging, being very careful not to say "I’ll miss you" any of the sort. I have told him right now he's allowed to go out with other girls and I can go out with other guys. I'm still in high school, so of course I'm going to date other people while he's gone!

I told him I’d wait for him though.

I pray for him every night, and I pray if I should date him when he comes back and I always feel the spirit telling me yes.

I feel it from my head all the way to my toes.

I know I’m young, I understand that. I've faced the reality that it may not work out but I also need to face the reality that it could.

I just want to help him get through school, and there's not much I can do!

His patriarchal blessing says he will serve a full time mission.

Ever since I met him I've become a much stronger member of the Church ever since he came along.

I don't know what else I can do....


- What to Do?

Dear Do,

To do better in school you could try giving him the space and time he needs to do his work.

Cutting down on the texting would help. (You didn't mention that you text, but many kids your age do, and I've found that kids who text or IM or whatever a lot often have no idea how much time their spending with that stuff.)

Other than that, I think the best thing you can do is give him the space he needs to focus on preparing for missionary service.

That means that right now he should be spending more time thinking about the Savior, and less time thinking about you.

One other thing to consider, which may or may not apply to you and your situation . . . but it's worth mentioning: is that the way we know if what we’re hearing and feeling is from the Spirit and not from us is that if it's from us it's only for our benefit, if it's from the Spirit it's for the benefit of others.

Just something to ponder as you seek the guidance the Lord wants to give you.

- Bro Jo

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