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Friday, August 14, 2015

How to Pursue a Sister Missionary - Part 2 of 3

Dear Bro Jo,

Girls usually do, but in this case the difference is we are talking about a missionary, who is not supposed to be chased at all.

I also have to add she loves her missionary work and, in my opinion, she is probably the best full-time missionary in her ward, including the Elders.

We are not in the same ward and we first met at a baptism.

Baptisms are rare in this mission area, which is why members and missionaries from several wards/branches are encouraged to attend.

Curiously, /she/ made the first move (in a very subtle way).

I asked her where she was serving and, since then, I have traveled 150 kilometers (93 miles) each week just to see her (she is always with other sisters/elders/investigators).

Incidentally, I don't have a car, and I have to use public transport. It is very difficult for me.

To a certain extent, I am already "chasing" her, and I can't think of anything else I can do. 

- Friend




Dear Friend,

If there's that much of an uphill battle in your area, you bet I'd move if I were you!

Can there be a better reason for relocating than to find someone to be sealed to for Time and All Eternity?

I would never characterize that as a waste of money.

Rather an investment that will pay dividends well beyond what we can imagine.

- Bro Jo




Dear Bro Jo,

A dear friend of mine, 28-year-old high priest, is going to Utah in July for the same reason. He will be staying for a month, so he can just use his passport without a specific visa.

It will cost him about 5000 euros (almost 7000 dollars). He doesn't even speak English.

I don't have that money (otherwise, I would leave with him).

I would never characterize that as a waste of money.

The reality is, it is an expensive lottery.

Can you really find and get to know a person, in a foreign country, in less than a month?

I don't doubt it, but, in my case, the problem is: money.

As I said, I would be willing to go abroad if I had a job there, so I could support myself.

- Friend,




Dear Friend,

Please pay attention: if you're interested in this girl, you need to chase her AFTER she goes home.

I understand that the situation seems complicated and difficult, but I think you'll fair better if you stop seeing the obstacles and start looking for options.

Wayne Gretzky said that the difference between a 50 goal a year scorer and an 150 goal a year scorer is that the 50 goal guys could tell you the logo on every pad on every goalie in the league; the 150 goal scorer doesn't see the goalie; he only sees the open net.

I think a non-English speaker spending $7000 to go to Utah for a month with no prospects, no job, and no clue, in hopes that he can find, woo, and win a wife in that time is . . . candidly . . . an optimistic idiot.

Maybe he's wealthy. 

Maybe he's got a strong possibility or firm plan that you haven't mentioned . . . If not . . . I hope it works out for him, I really do . . . but I wouldn't bet on it!

Utah isn't the only place in the world with lots of LDS women, and when I say "move" I don't mean "go blindly and with no plan".

If a job would make a difference, get one.

If going back to school would provide the opportunity, do that.

If Utah is too far or expensive, try the UK.

Or Las Vegas.

Or San Diego.

Or Australia or New Zealand.

How did the people who live in your branch that are married meet?

Do what they did!

Or work harder at making the baptisms in your area less infrequent.

There's no rule that says that YSA and SA activities have to be limited to members.

Throw some parties, make some friends!

How do the non-LDS people meet spouses in your area? 

Be the guy that comes up with the LDS-appropriate version of that.

Be a Pioneer!

Join the military and travel to new places that way.

Become a travel agent, work for an airline or hotel so pilgrimages are less expensive.

Or become a tour guide!

You haven't specifically mentioned where you're from, but when I worked for a couple different hotel chains in Utah there were always tours from European countries coming through.

The guide was usually a younger person (about your age) from wherever those folks were from. The tour would go through the US National Parks, and in their off duty time these guys would get out and meet new people.

Hey, nothing in life worth while is easy . . . but it IS worth it. I understand being frustrated . . . but understand this: the only difference between successful people and unsuccessful people is effort. 

Sure, you've put in effort up to this point (right?), but it's like when you lose your keys: you'll never find them if you stop looking, and you always find them in the last place you looked.

Stop seeing the goalie, my brother; start looking for the open net.

- Bro Jo



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