Scared and Alone: Part 10 of 15: When You Feel Like Giving Up

Readers, This email came two months after the last one. - Bro Jo




Dear Bro Jo,

Do you ever feel like just giving up on everything and not caring about anything anymore?

I've been having doubts lately about what's right in life and just over everything in Church.

I just recently turned 18, but i'm staying with the young women's program until I graduate.

Most of my leaders all seem to think I have an amazing/strong testimony, but what they don't realize is that I really don't.

They always say they can "see it in my actions and choices," but deep down personally I feel as I know nothing and I haven't ever really had a testimony of my own.

Sadly, I've gotten to the point where I want to give up on the Church and I don't follow all of it's teachings as best I should. It's even gotten to the point where I don't want to go to church and when I do, I always come home feeling worse than I did before.

I've corresponded with you once before on another e-mail account, and really appreciated the advice you gave me, so I was hoping for a little bit of help again. I'm feeling like a failure with everything in life.

Thanks for taking the time to read this,

- Scared




Dear Scared,

I remember our previous correspondence.

When what we want to give up on is a bad thing (like drinking tea or hanging out with guys that constantly pressure girls for sex and inappropriate pictures) then it's good to give that up.

When what we are thinking about giving up are good things (like learning about the Atonement and Christ, being around Good People, Caring Leaders, and Good Friends) then that's not a good idea. 

Everyone has doubts, Little Sister.

Even me.

And, trust me, your not the only person to struggle with their testimony or not recognize what it feels like to the feel the Spirit in their life.

I know that you've felt the Spirit because, well, frankly, everyone has.

It's called "the Light of Christ" and we all have it.

Sometimes it just feels like things are good. Like we've made a good decision or doing something good for someone. I know you've done those things.

Sometimes it's that "still small voice" that tells us "that person needs to talk to me right now" or "hey! if you don't slow down you're going to get a ticket!" or "I know I forgot something,

I better go back and get whatever it is".

Sometimes it's a voice of warning, like how you felt when that guy was bothering you or when you knew that you weren't supposed to be drinking tea even though others around you were.

And sometimes it just comes in the form of assurance that, even though things are difficult now, it's all going to be okay.

I submit to you that the reason you don't want to go to Church is the same reason you don't feel good when you come home. You're carrying a black cloud with you. You have things you need to confess to priesthood authority so you can begin the healing process and mend things with your Savior.

He loves you, and you're not letting him love you because you feel guilty.

And, you need to know that, guilty or not, you are absolutely still loved! You're not a failure. You're human just like the rest of us.

I promise you, little sister, that you will not feel better leaving.

Have courage!

Put your worries, fears, and pride aside.

Mend things with God. It's easier than you've allowed Satan, and yourself, to tell you that it is.

I'm here for you every step of the way.

Don't give up!

Fight back!

Go call your sweet Bishop right now and set a time to go and talk to him.

You deserve to give yourself a chance to be happy.

- Bro Jo