Taking One More Step

Dear Bro Jo,

Hey, I have a question for you, and would love to hear your opinion.

There is this man, he is 24, and I met him about 2.5 months ago.

We team-taught an anatomy program at an elementary school together this past semester at BYU.

He is definitely different from other boys that I have dated--he is much more introverted and reserved.

We can talk for hours though and never get bored.

He actually initiated our first conversation outside of school-related things, so I feel like that is a good thing.

Anyways, he is new to Provo, so I invited him a couple weeks ago to go see a movie with a whole bunch of friends.

It was not a date,

I just invited him to come hang out because he's new and I know he doesn't have a ton of friends.

We had a fun time, and it was good to get to know him a little better outside of school.

This past week, he gave me a ride somewhere i needed to go (he's very kind, always willing and wanting to help me out in whatever way he can), and I invited him over as a friend to hang out, lots of people, again I just want him to feel welcome to a new place.

However, I won't deny that I do like him, and I'm fairly confident he also likes me.

Tonight, I just so happened to have 2 tickets to the Christmas devotional in SLC, and none of my roommates wanted to go, so I just asked him if he wanted to go.

He did, so we went, and spent like 5 hours together this evening, and I had a really good time.

I definitely got to know him better, and I want to go out with him on some more dates, but I just don't feel like he is going to ask.

He is just one of those people who is content with life as it comes, and life is busy for him, and he is reserved by nature, and I could see him just not asking me out in the future, even though I'm fairly certain he likes me.

I think he just really needs to go at things at his own pace, in his own time.

I'm fine with giving him some time (I don't think he dates much due to his reserved personality, and I don't think he has ever had a girlfriend, or kissed anyone, or anything like that, even held hands with a girl).

What should I do?

I've taken some initiative on the whole thing because I thought he needed a little push, and I just really like spending time with him as a friend, but he needs to take the initiative now.

He is giving me a ride to the airport in a week or so because I'm flying home for Christmas, and I TA for a class that he is taking, so I see him at reviews, but those things aren't dates. I just would like your take on things. . ..

I've never been interested in someone quite like him.

Normally the guys I like are outgoing, loud, and quite the open book.

This guy is just . . . different.

Anyways, I look forward to hearing your response.

- BYU CoEd




Dear CoEd,

I think you can go one more step.

Tell him what you've told me: that you like him and want him to ask you out.

You have nothing to lose.

- Bro Jo