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Friday, December 4, 2015

Online Dating - A Follow-up

[Readers, 

In September of 2012, I posted an email that asked about online dating. You can read the original post HERE.

Below is the follow-up that the original writer sent me. I am aware that many of you, particularly those at Church schools, are using swiping apps as a means of finding dates. 

As an Old Fashioned Guy I'm just not sold on how effective this is. It strikes me as superficial, and more about "hooking up" than about creating a meaningful, long-term relationship.  

What are your thoughts?

- Bro Jo]



Dear Bro Jo,

I saw that you posted my email, I was very surprised ha!

But I realized that I never told you how it went, so I thought I would update you.

I tried it for a month, and got tons of messages and requests and stuff, I went on a few dates but it wasn't really my thing.

Most of the guys that I had contact with and that I was actually interested in never seemed to follow through on wanting to meet, they would say it or we would talk for a while but we never actually met.

The few I did actually meet up with were okay, but just not guys I would be as interested in.

There were a few I would really have liked to meet but we just never made it work, and one of the hardest parts was the distance, I did not want to actually "date" someone online, as-in through emails and such, but more I wanted to meet people through there and date the more traditional way, so trying to get together when we lived far away was kind of difficult.

Overall I guess I'm glad I tried, but I don't know if I will try it again, maybe though... I also think the stigma is still holding me back some, I know that it probably shouldn't but I just can't get over it yet...
I am still definitely struggling with meeting new people and I am hoping to move soon to get to a new area,

I date quite a bit, but without much success so far.... Hopefully soon!

- BP




Dear BP,

Dating "quite a bit" is a good thing.

Relax.

Have fun!

When it comes to meeting new people, sometimes I think it's like food storage: trying to do it all at once, whether it's stocking a 2-year supply from scratch or meeting either a bunch of new people or that special guy is just too much to handle; it's overwhelming!

Just buy one can of soup.

Meet one new person.

Get to know one new guy at a time.

And you're right; it's much easier to get to know people in person than over the internet.

- Bro Jo

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

From what I've seen/heard, most people who use the "dating apps" (i.e. Tinder) are really more interested in hooking up than finding dates, so they're not very effective for the whole dating thing, even in LDS "communities" like BYU or BYUI.

Anonymous said...

Tinder in-particular was created entirely for "hookups"... that being said, I have known 2 couples (my husband's sister included) who have gotten sealed to someone they met on Tinder! So you never know.