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Monday, February 29, 2016

Staying Temple Worthy Once You're Engaged

Dear Bro Jo,

Sorry it took me so long to get back to you.

Here is the plan:

My future mother-in-law is a little bit hurt that she won't be able to see the wedding, but she has been very understanding.

She loves my idea of an outside ring ceremony. That way she can get the "traditional" wedding feeling she craves!

She has been very helpful with planning and increasingly understanding of our beliefs.

My future father-in-law is a little bit sarcastic about the whole thing, but he's not much of a party guy anyway, so it doesn't seem like he minds that much. He doesn't talk much, so it's hard for me to tell. But he's supportive, in a passive kind of way.

My future sister-in-laws are just excited to be involved - and the older one, who I have chosen to be a bridesmaid, is excited about the fun privileges AND excited about the lessened duties!

My brothers are completely fine with the temple wedding, as I expected. It still is a little bit of a minefield around here, but it's getting better all the time.

Thank you.

Now the main concern is keeping ourselves clean until the wedding.


My dad always told me it was hard, but I never imagined.

The fiancé and I made a mistake last night - not Bishop worthy, just too close for comfort - and we are both having a hard time getting rid of the sick feeling in our stomachs.

I am very worried because I can't even bear the thought of being unworthy to go to the temple!

We have set new, super-strict rules for ourselves and I am praying for faith that we will be able to make it.

If it wasn't hard, it wouldn't be worth it, right?

Anyway, thanks for the help, and if you have any words of wisdom in regards to the chastity struggle, that would be welcome.

But we're doing our best!

- Daisy

Dear Daisy

Yes, it's worth it.

And your father is right: it will get more and more difficult.

You don't mention what "rules" you've set, but essentially I advise people three things:

     1. Make sure the wedding isn't too far away; if you need to, move it up. If it's at three months, move it to 6 weeks. If it's more than three months out, move it up to 3 months (or even six weeks).

     2. No more in-the-dark alone time. Period. No exceptions.

     3. No alone time during the day behind closed doors, on a sofa, in the park (or other excluded area), in a car, and don't go anywhere near a bed (unless it's to buy your mattress, and even then take a couple chaperons).

I know that all may sound extreme, but you'll thank me.

- Bro Jo

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