I have not always been a member, but I was raised in the Church. I had to fight for these beliefs and because of parental dissension, I had to wait to be baptized until after I was legally an adult.
Being temple worthy and a good member is so important to me.
I have not always dated members, and the last guy that I dated seriously was verbally and emotionally abusive.
I broke up with him right before FHE one night this last summer, and a friend of mine went with me because I was afraid I would be struck by this boy I had thought loved me.
After I ended that relationship, I had a blessing that told me God would reveal himself to me in the form of a friend, and I immediately pictured the friend who accompanied me to protect me from my ex.
A few months later, and that friend and I had been going on a few dates and flirting, but he was struggling with a masturbation and pornography addiction.
We prayed about it and decided to enter into a relationship because we brought each other closer to God, we both pushed each other to be better, and we both wanted to give each other a healthy relationship.
After a month of dating, the physical temptation was too strong and we broke up rather than make a big mistake.
During the break up it was difficult because we both still had feelings for each other and still had to see each other at Church.
We both felt it was imperative to stay in each other's lives, especially since he had just been called as my home teacher, literally that morning.
So during this break up we came up with a deal. We agreed to be in "waiting."
He and I would be single people, not attached to each other, yet we would be "waiting" for the other one.
Single, yet unavailable to other suitors.
We gave ourselves a one year time limit, if we aren't ready to date once again within a year, we will move on for good.
Bro Jo, am I insane?
Waiting for a boy who can't go on a mission and has had these serious addictions for years?
I tell myself that I'm young, turning 20 in a month, and that I have only ever dated seriously, so some single-time would be wise, but am I just waiting for more heart break?
I know you've said that boys with these issues look for girls like me, ones who want to fix them or to hold their hand while they get better, but I just keep hoping that he's different.
Am I insane for playing the waiting game?