Dear Bro Jo . . . : Should She Feel Guilty Going Out with a Guy that Just Broke Off a Year-long Relationship?

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Wednesday, October 5, 2016

Should She Feel Guilty Going Out with a Guy that Just Broke Off a Year-long Relationship?

Dear Bro Jo,

Who would have thought I would still be emailing you at 20!

haha! Not me!

Anyway, my dilemma is I met a guy this weekend and he's soo sweet and all that jazz and we've spoken a lot this weekend!

The problem is just broke up with his girlfriend about a month ago; it's still a bit sore for her and she's still upset but it's definitely over and they won't get back together. So I know the guys ex-girlfriend, not very well but I know who she is and she'll know who I am because we were in the same EFY group (as counselors).

I've been thinking this morning "do I stop talking to this guy and leave it a while to settle or do I just carry on speaking to him?"

We've been talking about going out sometime this week on a date which is cool but I don't know if I want to get caught up in it?

They were together for a year so it's not like it was a little fling. I've never really dated somebody who's got that hanging over them. What should I do?!

Thanks,

Name Withheld

Dear NW,

Of course you keep talking to him!

And . . . worry less.

Yes, I think she'll hurt when she realizes he's moved on and is dating other people, but that's what happens after a break up. Honestly? I think finding out about his other dates will help her move on (not that you should be the one to tell her).

Have fun,

- Bro Jo

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Bro Jo's "Dating Rules for Teens"

General
- Date in groups of 2 or more couples minimum, 3 or more couples is recommended
- Pick Up boys first, then girls; drop off girls first, then boys
- Be clean - literally and spiritually
- Plan must be pre-approved by the Parental Committee
- Borrow a Cell Phone from Parental Committee - for emergency use only
- Only date people your Parents have met (a pre-date meeting may be needed - a movie party at your house is a great way to have Mom and Dad meet all of this year's potential dates!)
- Don't flirt with another person's date - you can go out with them next time - focus on the person you're with
- Remember why you're dating: to get to know someone better, to discover what type of person you like to spend time with, and to practice this important social skill
- First Date is with Opposite Sex parent - prove that you're ready
- Keep the conversation going - spend more time asking questions than talking about yourself
- Focus on your companion - DO NOT TEXT YOUR FRIENDS WHILE OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE - it's rude and, well . . . lame
- No dating the same person twice in a row

Boys
- Home by 11:30pm
- Plan / Pick up / Pay
- Plan communicated to date - no surprises!
- Sisters deserve to go out with decent guys regularly, be one of those guys
- Chivalry isn't dead - show respect by opening doors
- It's scary to call, get over it (practice), it's your job to phone
- Be prepared Boy Scout: make sure the car is clean and has gas, be familiar with where you're going, have enough dough
- Keep dates simple and not too long
- No gifts (keep it casual)
- Meet the parents
- Minimum of one date per month

Girls
- Home by 11pm
- Know what's planned - and pre-communicate that plan to your parents
- Dress Modestly
- Teach your date that you deserve to be respected (make him open doors and insist that he use proper language)
- Don't call boys - make them call you (this is a respect tool)

Exceptions
- Formal Dates (like Prom or a Wedding) can extend the curfew 30 minutes
- Flowers may be an appropriate "gift" for formal occassions

Rules for Parents
- Set the Example (married parents should be dating weekly - if you can, occassionally make that a "Date to the Temple" - if you want your kids to go, they need to see you going - great for married-people dates - Bad Idea for first dates)
- Know your kids' friends, their dates and potential dates
- Communicate Expectations
- Help to Plan Ahead - especially in the beginning
- Discuss the Plan - offer council when asked, but don't take control
- Review the Rules
- Pray
- Don't Spy (if it's your date night too, go somewhere else - and get home before your teen)
- Wait Up - near the door, not in your bedroom
- Debrief - Discuss the date with your teen when they come home, before everyone goes to bed
- Be positive and encouraging
- Don't "arrange" dates for your kids with other parents - if the kids find out it'll be bad

REMEMBER PARENTS - You Water What You Want to Grow! (But too much water and the plant will drown.)

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Disclaimer

*This website is not affiliated with the Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-Day Saints, nor does it's author claim to write on behalf of the LDS Church.

for more information on The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-Day Saints go to: http://www.mormon.org/

"Dear Bro Jo" is an entertainment column, and should not been used as a substitute for Professional Counseling, nor is it intended to replace conversations with one's Bishop or other Priesthood Authority.

All posts and content are the property of Dave Johnston (c) 2009-2013.

Dear Bro Jo . . .

Things to know

Wednesday, October 5, 2016

Should She Feel Guilty Going Out with a Guy that Just Broke Off a Year-long Relationship?

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