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Wednesday, December 7, 2016

It's Tough Being Older and Single

Dear Bro Jo,

Good day to you.

I am writing you this mail because I’m beginning to lose it!

I joined this church a little over 7 years ago and I’m over 32 years old now. I’m still very much single.

I’ve had offers from non-members but because I’m hell bent on temple marriage, I did not give them a chance.

Now I hardly have offers again. I’m being passed across as a married woman because now I actually look like one.

What do I do? I have a date that is eight years younger than me but I must confess that that is not what I want.

I’m not sure he would even marry someone like me because I’m just too old for him.
I need your advice ASAP because this matter is beginning to make me have a low self-esteem. All my mates are married.

I’m really scared. Even if it is for someone to match make me and someone I would be glad. I hardly get that offer too.

Please help me.

Kind Regards,

- Name Withheld

Dear NW,

The first thing that may help is realizing that your value comes because you're a daughter of our Heavenly Father, not because you're in a relationship.

Secondly, I think you need to be a little more open.  While I agree that it's pointless to Serious Single Date guys who have no intention of marrying you in the Temple, it may be possible that falling in love with you may just inspire one of these non-member guys to embrace the Gospel.

And I think if ta 24-year old man wants to ask you out, you should absolutely go.  I can't think of anything more flattering for a woman's self-esteem than going out with guys who want to date her.

Lastly, be proactive  If something is wrong in your life, and it's bothering you, fix it.  Don't just sit back and hope that something happens.  If you want to date certain single guys, get to know them better, let them see what a great person you are, and if you need to, tell them they need to ask you out.

- Bro Jo

1 comment:

Steve Horning said...

This helped me out a lot just to know that people my age are in similar situations. I just turned 29, joined the church in 2001, and finished my mission 5 years ago next month. I also live in and attend university in an area of the US that has very few members despite it's history and population (Northeast Ohio), so I get the dating issues, as I experience them myself.

Stay faithful and be patient. That's what my leaders tell me.