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Wednesday, December 14, 2016

What Should She Do About the Mixed Signals?

Dear Bro Jo,

Alright sorry if this gets a bit scattered.

So background on me, I currently attend a University and am going to be a sophomore. I didn't date…at all this past year(my freshman year) Although I did do the whole obnoxious hanging out thing. I’ve also always only been friends with guys, I mean I socialize with girls but I normally end up being the "little sis"-like best friend type person and since I’m not looking to date super seriously/get married anytime soon I’ve been okay with this so far. But all that aside  I think there is a slight possibility something has been developing with this guy I met through the institute.

First of all he's 5 years older than me and every time were hanging out and age comes up, he remembers that were fairly far apart and it kind of freaks him out, but he is only a semester ahead of me in school because of late major changes and a mish. In my mind the place you are in your life is more important than your age (within reason)

But he is honestly the King of mixed signals. I’ve been talking with him since March which makes me think that if he was seriously interested he would have acted on this by now! He does things like come to my performances and walked me to class a couple times. But he hasn't asked me out on an official date. We have hung out one on one (like after my performances and around the institute) and in group settings. And he has mentioned before like "oh we should see that movie or go to that restaurant" And I’m always open being like "Oh yeah for sure!" But I didn't want to seem like too eager or anything so I never pushed things. I consider myself good at flirting and they're is definite witty banter going on. But at the same time he is always the one to stop responding first via text and just so confusing. He sits by me at church activities (sacrament and firesides) but then we don't talk as much as I think we should after those events…like when there’s refreshments and stuff. Every sign for the building of a relationship is quickly followed by a step toward the friend zone.

I’ve been recently looking through your blog and seen your "men can’t be just friends with women rule" which I can see being accurate but if that is so, why the heck hasn't he asked me out after all this time? Is it time for me to just stop talking to him and let it go or should I steal his thunder and just ask him why he isn't asking me out? Or am I just totally reading too far into things and is he just being a nice guy?

At this point I’m just at a total loss.
What do you think?

- Name Withheld




Dear NW,

You're what ... 20?  And he's 25?

Yeah.  I think you should ask him whether or not he intends to ask you out on a date anytime soon.

It's a yes or no question, and anything other than a yes is a no.

For you it's a win-win.  Either this guy finally asks you out or you'll know it's time to move on.
In which case I wouldn’t burn the bridge, but I'd shift your time to someone who's at least a little more ready.

- Bro Jo

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