Dear Bro Jo . . . : Dateless at 29 - Should She Ask Guys Out?

Things to know

Regularly read by 50,000+ readers in over 140 countries around the world, "Dear Bro Jo" is published several times a month.

This is column is just one guy's opinion, and while he does his best to keep what he thinks, says and writes in-line with the Gospel of Jesus Christ, "Dear Bro Jo" is not an LDS Church website. (And Sister Jo thinks you should know that he's sometimes wrong, and often way too opinionated for his own good.)

Nothing here is meant to take the place of talking with parents, leaders, or Church authorities. Please, if you need serious help, talk to a trusted adult, leader, and / or professional counselor.

Please like our Facebook page, and check it often for Discussions, Notes, Events and just General Good Stuff!

Everything here is copyrighted. If you're going to quote any part of anything here, please get Bro Jo's written permission. You can reach him at dearbrojo@gmail.com.

Monday, January 29, 2018

Dateless at 29 - Should She Ask Guys Out? - part 1 of 2

Dear Bro Jo,

I'm not sure how to post this other than a comment. I just wanted to say that I've never been a fan of girls asking guys out, but I have done it a few times to different people only because I honestly never get asked out and feel like I need to somewhat step up and have a date.

There is probably other ways to do this but for me it has become a last resort that I felt I have had to refer to. I'm 29 years old and have had maybe 2-3 dates a year since age 16.

What is your solution if that is the case?

- 29

Dear Bro Jo,

Sorry I didn't mean to sent this twice. Also I couldn't figure out how to comment on your blog hence the email.

- 29

Dear Bro Jo,

Sorry to sent another email. If you do post or comment on this on your page I would like to be anonymous please

- 29

Dear 29 -

Okay. When I get up in the morning and there's several emails and a page comment from the same person on the same topic . . . I figure they've got a pretty serious concern!

I'm glad I read all of your emails before posting your comment. Since you sent the comment with your name attached, had I hit "post" it would have shown with your name, not anonymous as you requested.

(The way to do that, by the way, is when you're leaving the comment, click the "anonymous" button.)

To your question, in my opinion Little Sister, you need to learn How to Get THEM to Ask YOU Out.

Right or wrong, old fashioned or not, the truth is that we guys like living with the illusion that we're "wearing the pants". When a girl asks us out, no matter how sweet and wonderful she is, unless it's a
Girl-ask-guy event, Good Guys think: "Yikes, she's desperate!

What's wrong with her that no one else wants to ask her out?" Or: "What low opinion of me must she have? Does she think I'm not man enough to get my own dates?"; Bad Guys think "Sweet! She's desperate! I can totally take advantage of that."

True story.

I've written about this . . . a lot.

You can read the first chapter of "Bro Jo's Guide to Relationships" on
my publisher's website: HERE.

There's also a note on the Facebook page that you may find helpful:
Bro Jo's "HOW a GIRL CAN GET a GUY to ASK HER on a DATE"

At 29, it's time to kick your dating into High Gear. Get out there, meet lots of new people. Flirt. Learn the value of getting guys to talk about themselves. Stay out of the "Hang out" and Friend" zones.

And have fun!

- Bro Jo

No comments:

Bro Jo's "Dating Rules for Teens"

General
- Date in groups of 2 or more couples minimum, 3 or more couples is recommended
- Pick Up boys first, then girls; drop off girls first, then boys
- Be clean - literally and spiritually
- Plan must be pre-approved by the Parental Committee
- Borrow a Cell Phone from Parental Committee - for emergency use only
- Only date people your Parents have met (a pre-date meeting may be needed - a movie party at your house is a great way to have Mom and Dad meet all of this year's potential dates!)
- Don't flirt with another person's date - you can go out with them next time - focus on the person you're with
- Remember why you're dating: to get to know someone better, to discover what type of person you like to spend time with, and to practice this important social skill
- First Date is with Opposite Sex parent - prove that you're ready
- Keep the conversation going - spend more time asking questions than talking about yourself
- Focus on your companion - DO NOT TEXT YOUR FRIENDS WHILE OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE - it's rude and, well . . . lame
- No dating the same person twice in a row

Boys
- Home by 11:30pm
- Plan / Pick up / Pay
- Plan communicated to date - no surprises!
- Sisters deserve to go out with decent guys regularly, be one of those guys
- Chivalry isn't dead - show respect by opening doors
- It's scary to call, get over it (practice), it's your job to phone
- Be prepared Boy Scout: make sure the car is clean and has gas, be familiar with where you're going, have enough dough
- Keep dates simple and not too long
- No gifts (keep it casual)
- Meet the parents
- Minimum of one date per month

Girls
- Home by 11pm
- Know what's planned - and pre-communicate that plan to your parents
- Dress Modestly
- Teach your date that you deserve to be respected (make him open doors and insist that he use proper language)
- Don't call boys - make them call you (this is a respect tool)

Exceptions
- Formal Dates (like Prom or a Wedding) can extend the curfew 30 minutes
- Flowers may be an appropriate "gift" for formal occassions

Rules for Parents
- Set the Example (married parents should be dating weekly - if you can, occassionally make that a "Date to the Temple" - if you want your kids to go, they need to see you going - great for married-people dates - Bad Idea for first dates)
- Know your kids' friends, their dates and potential dates
- Communicate Expectations
- Help to Plan Ahead - especially in the beginning
- Discuss the Plan - offer council when asked, but don't take control
- Review the Rules
- Pray
- Don't Spy (if it's your date night too, go somewhere else - and get home before your teen)
- Wait Up - near the door, not in your bedroom
- Debrief - Discuss the date with your teen when they come home, before everyone goes to bed
- Be positive and encouraging
- Don't "arrange" dates for your kids with other parents - if the kids find out it'll be bad

REMEMBER PARENTS - You Water What You Want to Grow! (But too much water and the plant will drown.)

(Check out the "Dear Bro Jo" Fan Page on Facebook for more Great Notes!)

Disclaimer

*This website is not affiliated with the Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-Day Saints, nor does it's author claim to write on behalf of the LDS Church.

for more information on The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-Day Saints go to: http://www.mormon.org/

"Dear Bro Jo" is an entertainment column, and should not been used as a substitute for Professional Counseling, nor is it intended to replace conversations with one's Bishop or other Priesthood Authority.

All posts and content are the property of Dave Johnston (c) 2009-2013.

Dear Bro Jo . . .

Things to know

Monday, January 29, 2018

Dateless at 29 - Should She Ask Guys Out? - part 1 of 2

No comments:

LDS Rankings

Join us on Facebook!

Become a "Dear Bro Jo" Fan!

Cast Yout Vote!

More Bro Jo Stuff

___

Discovering Greatness

The Discovering Greatness Playbook