Dear Bro Jo,
I have been out on my mission for a couple months now, I'm a little under a year, and I suppose like any Missionary -- I have girl problems.
Now I'm not saying I was, how you call, "The Mack Daddy" back home, but I have some 'followers' still. Now maybe it's not a bad thing to have a little fan club or a friend or so who writes you, but I have been asked by one of my followers if I was going to marry them...
It was a very indirect way, the question wasn't upfront, but it was prevalent for sure. That's not good. I did my best to kindly tell this young woman that I needed to focus on my mission, which worked quite well, as I did this in my first month or two and haven't received an email since. I think she got the hint, but I wasn't really interested anyway, making it a little easier to get the guts to do it. I also was probably a little more upfront and blunt than I should have been (?)
Now, my question is, how do I tell the girls I AM interested in to write me less? So I can focus more?
I don't want to hurt feelings but I think it's very easy for girls to take it the wrong way. I don't
want to burn Bridges, but I do want to maybe put a road block sign or something Saying "Hey, Girl, this Bridge is under construction right now and is currently unavailable, stay tuned, it'll open again after the summer"
I'm not trying to sound like I'm a lady slayer, but I get Emails every week from some girls, and I appreciate the thought and sentiment, but I feel like every time I get an email, I feel obligated to write back. And I just don't have the time.
And I feel like once a week is too much. Especially for girls I'm not dating. How do I limit correspondence without sounding like a self-righteous jerk?
But in the end, it's all for not (or so it seems), I'm not even sure anything will come from any of these 'potential investigators', as I will be in college, most likely very different colleges as the other girls, so it seems clear to me to not let this distraction, distract me, as there isn't as much opportunity there anyway
To sum it up, in a quick overview, how do I get girls to write me less without cutting any ties, or having minimal damage? Is once a Month a good period, or once every 2 weeks?
Or am I just a Dingus?
Sincerely,
- On the Lord's Errand
Dear Elder,
I know you may not feel this way, but lots of guys wish they had you problem!
The key is, I think, to not write them back as often as they're writing you. Once a month is the most frequent you should respond, IMHO. If you don't have time, you don't have time.
It's not impolite, and you won't be burning any bridges. Skip a few weeks, particularly with those girls who might be .... "the most annoying" ... and, when you do feel inspired to write back ... perhaps in a month ... or two or three ... from now, lead off with "sorry I'm just now getting back to you; mission life is super busy; it is great hearing from you though!"
They'll feel better, and be learning something valuable as well.
A tough but important lesson that we all need to learn I think, made particularly difficult given the technology of the day, is patience.
Be Kind.
But don't feel as though you have to treat every email as if it's on fire.
Keep up the good work!
- Bro Jo
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