How Do I Know?

Dear Bro. Jo. -

How do I know if the girl I'm dating is the right girl for me to marry?

- Unsure


Dear Unsure -

Way to help me christen the blog with an easy one - NOT!

Many Latter-Day Saints have this vision that they'll be walking through Temple Square with the girl of their dreams; they'll pause for a moment by the reflecting pool, and then suddenly the clouds will part, light will shine down and encircle them, and The Voice of God will boom "Thou hast chosen well! This is the one that thou shalt take unto the Temple."

Angels will sing, flowers will bloom, and trees will dance.

Almost never happens. If that's what you're waiting for, you're going to be single a long, long time.

Yes, you should pray for confirmation when making any big decision, but remember the principle that "information preceeds inspiration" (you may have heard that once or twice before).

First of all, you need to actually be dating. Remember the talk from a few years back? That means: "Plan, Pick Up and Pay". Hanging out won't get you there.

Assuming you've already gone on several dates with this girl (if you haven't, you're asking this question way too soon Turbo), then my next question is: "how's the conversation going?" Eternity is a long time to spend with someone you don't like to talk to. I know you think she's "hot" (and that's nice), but you need someone that you'll be able to tell your hopes, dreams, goals and fears.

Have you talked about the important stuff? Children? Quantity? Timing? Where to live? How to live?

If the two of you haven't talked about marriage, you're not ready to propose, and she's not ready to answer (even if she thinks she is).

One more thing to ponder: "do you like doing things together?"

No, Captain NiCMO, put the hormones aside, that's not what I meant.

Do you both like the same kinds of movies?
Are you both indoors people or outdoors people?
Do you fight about politics or share similar views?

Look, I'm not saying you need to marry your clone; I am saying that life comes with a lot of hills and valleys, it's best to pick someone that you can enjoy the journey with.

Sister Johnston and I are both opinionated people. I knew she was the right person for me because no matter how much (or how loud) we disagreed, I still couldn't imagine life, or eternity, without her.

Lastly (for now) meet each other's families; you're going to be spending a lot of time with those people: you'd better get to know them.

-Bro Jo