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Thursday, February 12, 2009

Valentines Day Gifts

Dear Bro Jo -

I've been dating this girl exclusively for two weeks, what should I give her for Valentine's Day?

- Not Sure I'm In Love


Dear Not Sure -

Ordinarily Bro Jo has a strict "no perfume", "no clothes", "no make-up" policy when it comes to giving girls gifts, but that's because I've personally messed up with each of those - perhaps that's a column for a different day . . .

Valentine's Day presents a special set of dilemmas because our culture uses it a relationship defining moment; that's why so many single guys see it (correctly, I might add) as a lose-lose situation. You feel this pressure to get the right thing. You want this girl to know you're still interested, but not have her picking out china patterns and reception halls; you want her to know you like her, but not scare her into thinking you're more ready to commit than she is, right?

Communication before the Holiday would have been helpful, but let's face it, it's not as if every time a girl says "don't get me anything" that's what she really means . . .

Here's the deal: if you two really are "mutually exclusive" - recommended for post-mission LDS guys, and strongly advised against for you pre-mission types - then you do have to give her something.

Flowers are always a safe bet, although you need to be prepared to be gouged at the register. Keep the quantity and color indicative of your place in the relationship. Engagements call for Roses and lots of them(one dozen or more) , and they better be red (unless she's told you of a different favorite flower or color). Back down from there. At only two weeks of serious dating, unless this is a girl you've known for a long time, thus advancing the seriousness of the relationship, at two weeks I'd say Single Red Rose is OK, or a bunch of "Spring Time" colored mixed flowers.

If you're on a tight budget, or the local flower shop is requiring you to fill out paperwork for financing the bouquet, try your local grocery store or a good alternative "two week dating" gift like a handwritten letter (no text messages, you losers) expressing your appreciation (keep it short and simple, Casanova) or a small present that reminds you of her (not her of you).

Best of luck,

- Bro Jo
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