Dear Bro Jo,
I got a short one for you,
I'm turning sixteen in less than a month, and there's this girl at church who I really like, and she really seems to like me back. Problem is, she's only fourteen. My friends (who aren't members) say I should date her anyway, which is a very tempting offer. I've thought about it myself, but I just want a second opinion as to what is right.
I know this seems like something I could find the answer to out of the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet,
You go more in depth and personal to problems, and I think I need that right now.
Sincerely,
Born Too Early
Dear Born,
Your friends are right. Date her . . . in two years, when she's old enough.
Stay in Casual Dating Mode and stay focused on a Mission, not a Girlfriend. And, let's face it, when you say "date her", you're not thinking about playing by the rules, taking her out once, then another girl, then another girl, then her - you're thinking that she's fun and cute and it would be great to be her Boyfriend because then . . . she might smooch you.
(Hey, I'm old, but I'm not dead; I get it.)
Be nice to her, don't get wrapped up in any romantic entanglements, and play it cool. Bide your time, and then, when she's older, more fun, more mature, and no-longer Off Limits, by all means take her out.
The time will go by fast.
Trust me.
Since 16 is coming up for you pretty quick, review Bro Jo's DATING RULES for TEENS with your parents. Discuss your plans and expectations. find a couple good dating Buddies.
Good luck and have fun!
- Bro Jo
5 comments:
Wow,i'm in the exact same situation and had the exact same question, thanks 'born'!
Although Bro Jo, I still got a problem to do with it. Because I'm good friends with her older brother and cousin, they'll bug me about things to do with it :/ What do I say to get them off my back about it without seeming like I'm a heaps goody goody.
OK.
Well I don't know what you mean by "bug me", or which direction the Brother and Cousin are pushing . . .
(To date or not to date, that is the question. Whether it is nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous friends . . .)
First Things First - get over letting others manipulate your decisions and actions because of the "goody-goody" label - if they have a problem with you doing the Right Thing, then that's THEIR problem, not yours.
We're I you, I'd tell them to get off my back, I'm following the Prophet of God and waiting until she's 16 to take her out. If they have a problem with that, suggest they write President Monson.
OK, ok - you may want something a little more "situation diffusing" . . .
Try: "Dude, I agree she's a great girl! I'll date her, trust me, but for right now let's just cool it a while. When I ask her out I want to do it right, I think she'll appreciate that".
I am wondering, though, what type of brother pushes for his little sister to date before she's old enough . . .
The only reason I can think for doing that is to divert parental attention to her and away from him . . .
If that's the case, sounds like your "friend" may be using you.
- Bro Jo
Knowing that you waited until you're 16, why would you want someone else to break that goal?
There aren't double standards when it comes to values.
Trust Bro Jo when he says the time will go by fast. It WILL. And it won't stop. So in the mean time date other girls (casually and group!), and keep your standards strong and testimony true, and you'll be glad you did.
theres something about the teenage boys these days see they like girls that are way younger than them and try to act upon it which is well pretty dumb i must say
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