Dealing with Gossip

Dear Bro Jo,

I need some advice, and been a Bro Jo fan, I am always enlightened by your stern honesty and your helpful advice.

So anyways...

I'm currently serving as a YSA female rep for my ward. I love my YSA to bits and over the years I've seen a major change within many of the YSA. The progress that they have made has brought a lot of joy to my heart and I hope to keep it that way. Unfortunately, "gossip" decided to knock on our YSA door, and irrevocably in the form of our ward Relief Society President (RSP).

A bit puzzling for you??? Me too...

Just recently I was consulted by one of my YSA's that our RSP warned her to "stay away from (us) the YSA girls, because they aren't who you think they are", furthermore, she adds: "you can't trust them". This was just a few snippets of the conversation between her and the RSP. I was really angry and put off guard when I was told this. I hadn't expected a member, especially a RSP to say such things.

Gossip is definitely "Satan's Snare" and I know of many members who have fallen away because of things that have been said by other members about them. I DO NOT want any of the YSA to be sucked into a whirlpool of "he said-she said" rumors.

The un-named YSA isn't fussed with this "accusation", but it really demeans the bond and trust that's been created within the YSA. I really want to confront the RSP and literally ask her "What's her problem", because she's done this before, but I wasn't rep at the time, so I didn't feel that it was my place to do so. I don't want to stir up any contention with her or anyone else for that matter, so I really need a solution to sorting this issue out. I feel the need to consult my bishop and have some sort of sit-down with the RSP, but at the same time, i don't want to make this a major issue. However, I know that if I don't say or do anything NOW, she might probably take advantage of the situation and continue to add more LIES to her story. (sorry, I'm a bit frustrated at the moment). What should I do Bro Jo???

I'll be eagerly awaiting your response. :D

From a Frustrated Rep!



Dear Rep.,

God bless your for your service and dedication!

What you should do is . . . . wait.

Nothing good ever comes when we react in anger and frustration. Ever. (It takes a Christ to pull off Righteously Indignant well.)

You have every right to feel how you feel, but as the Spirit has hinted to you, resolving this in public isn't the right course. (Can you sense how even reacting to the gossip may, even if it's with your Bishop, be gossip itself?)

You said the YSA sister involved doesn't seem to be harboring anything negative . . . towards you and your group . . . but it IS possible she's not a big fan of the RSP, right?

So then we begin to wonder who and how everything started . . . is anyone telling the whole story . . . and so on.

Let it go. Kill with kindness and faith. Show everyone through your words and actions that you still love and sustain your RSP, imperfect though she may be (aren't we all?).

This is an opportunity for you to lead the way as a Disciple of Christ by treating others better than you feel they're treating you. It may be difficult, but Oh So Worth It.

And, by doing so, Little Sister, will feel so much better.

If you want to go the extra step, bring the two sisters together over a cup of cocoa (just the three of you). Talk positively, share the Spirit, talk about everything but this. If it comes up, smile, tell them both that you love them, and move on.

Yours in Christ,


- Bro Jo