Friend Needed

Dear Bro Jo,

First off I love your site. I found out about two days ago and have been reading it ever since. I just have to ask you something.

I know you usually deal with dating questions but I want to ask you about friends.

I am 16. I just moved up into Laurels. Its so weird. There is a problem with “Clicks” in my ward ever since I was a little girl. There are only 3 other girls in my class. Two of the girls I have been rejected from them ever since I was 8. They are best friends and where always in the same classes in school and I am there same age and I am a grade younger then them. But its ok.

The other girl in my class is 17 and she was my friend ( like I would sit by her every day at seminary and we would talk at church and hang out and stuff...) until the kids that went to BYU came back home. Now its like she doesn’t want anything to do with me. Like I am not cool enough for her. This hurts. My dad thinks that she is just stuck up and thinks she is so cool because she is hangout with the older kids. But now classes are weird because I fill like I have know one who wants to be my friend. I can’t wait till my friend moves up in October.

I fill like I don’t have a best friend or even a just a friend. I have to say that I have home schooled since I was 13. I love being home schooled. I had tons of friends from Public school. Now I have had to stop being friends with many of them because they are doing things that I didn’t and wasn’t going to choose to do. Like watching bad movies and other things that I didn’t fit my standards and they were not being very good friends. So I have gone different ways with many of my old friends. I only have had one friend from my public school days that has stayed a good friend. But she just move away.

Now it fills like I have no one.

As my friend in Mia Maids. I have one friend who I have became friends with because we were the only two girls that didn’t fit into a the “Clicks”. So for the past year we have become friends, so we hang out at dances, church, and other church stuff. But with her sports, school and other stuff we don’t hang out that much out side church stuff.

I always try to be nice to the beehives and other girls in are YW. But why do people act like there your friend at church but never want to hang out or call you or want to have anything to do with you?

I am trying to friends to every one. I never try to leave any one out and I call people to hang out but there like always “busy”.

I just want a true friend.

I have to say that things are not all bad. I have been getting closer to my family. Especially my mom. My mom and I are now best friends, instead of just mom and daughter. But sometimes I fill like its not the same as having that friend who wants to be with you.

For this summer I have a friend who is staying with us and I will be staying with her till August.

What do you think I should do after that?

From,

A girl who just wants a Friend.



Dear Friend,

I invite you to gain a testimony of why we go to Church; yes, Church is social, but our purpose for going should be to worship and learn more about the Gospel. If you're the last person on Earth you should still go to Sacrament meeting.

That said, I understand the need for each of us to have some Good Friends. (Satan is very powerful when we feel alone, you know.)

I think it's smart that you're developing a close relationship with your mom, but you're also right about needing some good friends your age.

You need to expand your circle. There's lots of great people out there that aren't LDS, you know. Sure, that will be a challenge being home schooled, so get out there and get involved. Play a sport, get a job, join a book club, find a pen pal, meet your neighbors, take a fun summer class at the local rec center, take up some new hobbies.

Be proactive in meeting new people.

Not only will it help you find friends, but you'll grow as a person, too.

And as your circle expands, so will your missionary opportunities.

Invite your summer guest to do all of these things with you as well, that way when she's gone you'll still have someone to talk to.

And, by all means, go to every Church Activity, Youth Conference, Dance, etc. that you can.

Remember, to have a friend you've got to be a friend.

- Bro Jo