The Girl at Home - Part 3

[Readers: The following column will be presented in a multi-part series, with a new installment posted each Saturday this month.   Enjoy!]


Dear Bro Jo,

I'm in a bit of a stiff. You see at the end of March by boyfriend left for his mission. Yes. I am waiting for him, and it means the world to me. I love him with all my heart and I honestly don't picture myself marrying anyone else. It feels so right.

With that said I knew before he left I'd be attracted to other boys. I wasn't going to kid myself. I've even been on another date. Of course I wouldn't tell him until he comes home, and my parents nor his know about this.

Now recently I came home from college and started attending Ballroom Dance class, and going to our YSA activities. There's this one guy in our Ward who likes me, and he has for awhile. I mean he really likes me, everyone knows it and can tell. Personally it doesn't bother me too much at all. But it's getting to the point where I REALLY need to do something about it, and I have no idea what the heck to do. I'd be more than willing to go on a date with him, but the only time I see him is Dance, and the YSA activities and church. So it would be pretty awkward to say something about it to him in those settings. Then on top of this he's leaving within the next month.

Can you help me out any?

- Not Signed



Dear NS,

I can try . . .

What is it you want to do?

Do you like this Dancing Guy?

- Bro Jo


Bro Jo,

I don't know what to do.

Sure I guess you could say I like him. He's an attractive member of the church that I get along with very well.

- NS


Dear NS,

So . . . what's the problem?

Is it that you want to get him to ask you on a date?

Do you feel guilty because you like him?

Does part of you feel like you're being unfaithful to the Missionary that just left?

Just how "committed" to him were you?

Is the new guy a Return Missionary? A Prospective Missionary?

You said he's leaving soon; when, where and why?

- Bro Jo


Dear Bro Jo,

Yes. I feel guilty because I like him.

No. I don't feel unfaithful to the Missionary who just left. I have no reason too.

I feel as am I am very committed to him. Honestly when he comes back and if we still have the same feeling towards each other... We have plans on getting married.

New guy is an RM, and a student who is moving back to Utah at the end of the month.

The problem is that he likes me so much it's become awkward. Everyone knows and doesn't know what to think either. When talking causally he'll bring up things about the missionary i'm waiting for which just makes it worse.

The date thing was an idea that would maybe ease some awkward feeling between us.

- NS


Dear NS,

You like him, he likes you. I think you need to go out with him. If you don't, you'll probably always wonder "what if".

But don't ask him out, get him to ask you: "Hey, I thought you liked me; aren't you going to take me out on a date before you leave?"

With time being such a short window, you probably need to drop that on him this weekend, perhaps even this morning.

And then go into the date with an open heart and mind. See what happens. Follow the Spirit. If you have a good time, go out with him again.

You need not feel guilty for liking him. He's not someone else's husband (right? j/k), you're not someone else's wife, and neither of you are doing anything that one should feel guilty about.

Date him. If it feels right, kiss him goodnight. (You're old enough . . . it's OK. If you don't feel so inclined, or if it takes you a couple dates to feel so inclined, that's OK, too.)

At least then you'll know.

Let me know how it goes, would ya?

- Bro Jo