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Wednesday, December 14, 2011

When You're 15 and You Like Someone

Dear Bro Jo.

First I apologize English is no my main language, so I'm Sorry, if it's hard to read this. I'll do my best.

There's a boy in my stake I like. But he lives far away, 3 hours to drive (where I live Stakes are larger than in US).

I'm turning 15 soon and he's fifteen.

Well I've known him many years, because we have some mutual friends in his ward.
Over a year ago I saw him on Stake Dance, and asked him to dance. We had good time with.

Little later I noticed he can be interested in me, and I had a crush on him.
We see each other about once a month or little rarely. We are quite good friends, and he used to call me often.

Last summer I had little problems with him, but problems are over.
After summer I haven't known what is there between us. We are good friends with, and he has said me he likes me more than any other girl.

I want to clarify for me and for him, what is there between us right now, and will be between us in future.

Tell me, what should I do? I want to be good friends with him, and date him when we both will turn 16. What can I do right now to contribute our "relationship" ?

Say if you didn't understand all. Thank you so much!


Dear Ginger,

Don't worry about the broken English; it's a tough language (especially the way we Americans use it). I'm impressed with anyone who knows more than one language - good for you!

As far as this guy goes, just keep being nice, perhaps flirt a little, and continue talking to him. Don't pursue him like you want a boyfriend; that may make him feel too much pressure. Since you live so far away, send him a letter; not an email or a text, but an actual hand written (not typed) letter. Become his pen-pal; it will help you get to know him better in a way that's not too threatening or scary.

But, as I always say: its good to get to know people better, and when you turn 16 go on lots of Casual Group Dates, but stay away from the Boyfriend-Girlfriend thing.

- Bro Jo


Anonymous said...

Hi, I'm also a fifteen year old girl who has a crush on a boy I know from church and school. In a moment of weakness, told him about my feelings. Ack! Now what do I do? He doesn't like me back, but he's a HUGE flirt, so sometimes it's hard for me to tell. I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone I know about it, because they'd figure out who it was in a heartbeat, and I don't want to embarrass him. HELP!
-Spoke Too Soon

Dave Johnston said...

Anon -

Exactly what I told the writer above: be nice and don't try to be his girlfriend.

Learn from this. Telling a guy you like him at your age, even if he likes you back, is never recommended.

When you're around him, act like you never said anything.

- Bro Jo

Anonymous said...

OP- Thanks. I really needed this. :)

Dave Johnston said...

Sister Jo said to me the other day "all of those teen magazines telling girls 'how to tell him you like him' are dead wrong in their advice".

She agrees: say nothing.

Thought you should know.

- Bro Jo