Dear Bro Jo,
I bet you get asked this same question a lot.
I picked up your book on Casual Dating a couple days ago and have some questions. See I have a bunch of friends, and we all hung out a lot even before we were all 16, but my dilemma is that I’m not attracted to any of the guys in my group. I really can’t see myself dating any of them.
Yes, they're great guys but I see them more as brothers. I've been 16 for a couple of months, and gone on a few dates, and I’m sort of crushing on this guy in one of my classes. We text a lot and flirt in person.
I want to be obedient, with the Church's guidelines but . . . I only want to date him!
I’ve been good about not going on constant dates with him, and all the dates I have gone with him have been double, but I really don’t know who else I’d like to date.
Thanks,
Crushin
Dear Crushin,
There's nothing wrong with being attracted to one particular person, but there's more to Casual Group Dating than attraction. It's about going out with different people and having a good time, not about getting a boyfriend.
And the reason we mix it up (not going out with the same person twice in a row) is so that the temptations to get into a committed relationship and do stuff we ought not do with that one special person we're attracted to are less.
A guy doesn't have to be someone you'd like to kiss to be a great date. Those guys in your group? Go out with all of them!
After all, they deserve to go out with someone nice as much as you do.
- Bro Jo
PS: hope you enjoy the book!
Dating, Relationship and Other Advice for LDS Teens, Young Single Adults, and anyone else who could use a little help (since 2009) from someone who cares enough to give it to you straight.
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This is column is just one guy's opinion, and while he does his best to keep what he thinks, says and writes in-line with the Gospel of Jesus Christ, "Dear Bro Jo" is not an LDS Church website. (And Sister Jo thinks you should know that he's sometimes wrong, and often way too opinionated for his own good.)
Nothing here is meant to take the place of talking with parents, leaders, or Church authorities. Please, if you need serious help, talk to a trusted adult, leader, and / or professional counselor.
Please like our Facebook page, and check it often for Discussions, Notes, Events and just General Good Stuff!
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