He's Unsure Whether His Feelings for Her Are The Spirit or Not

Dear Bro. Jo,

I am 17 and I am really obsessed with this girl that I met about two years ago at a youth camp.

Since then I have talked to her on the internet for a while, and I've gotten to know her better and better.

I met her again another time.

I know that now is not the time for steady dating, but I can't help wondering whether it can go farther later after my mission.

She is spiritually strong, intelligent, and nice. She seems perfect. All the same I have these nagging doubts about whether I should ever date her.

In the past, I know that I have sometimes felt strong feelings about crazy things, often things that are negative to myself.

That being said it might be the spirit as well.

I wish I was better at recognizing the spirit, but I have trouble sometimes.

When I'm with her, or I'm talking with her I feel great.

She makes me feel great about myself and want to improve myself.

She's a great example, and I know that if I didn't go on a mission, she wouldn't date me.

How do I tell whether these bothersome thoughts are the spirit or my own?

-Really Confused




Dear Really,

In my opinion, attraction to someone, for whatever reason, is never "spiritual". (Although, like lot's of you guys, I've had some success telling a girl that we were "meant to be together" and that "the Spirit told me so".)

You can be attracted to someone who IS spiritual, and the Spirit can prompt you about good and bad situations, including marriage, but the Spirit isn't the source behind our . . . feelings . . . even the ones that are "more pure" and less lustful.

Think of it this way: the Spirit is a Comforter and Confirmer, not the source for new ideas.

Yes, we get promptings, and those are like ideas, but I think of them more as "reminders to do good things that we already know we should do".

And, I can't let this go, you used the word "obsessed", and that my brother is never a spiritual word.

I'm sure she's a great girl, and it sounds like you should go on Casual Group Dates with her (follow The Rules).

When you come back from the mission, IF she's available, and if you're still interested, then ask her out again.

- Bro Jo

PS:  I think the best way to get better at "hearing the Spirit" is to act upon the things we do hear.