Dear Bro Jo,
Well, prom is this Friday. Yes, it's very late in the year (so is graduation, unfortunately! imagine!).
I live in a low Mormon population area and I've got a non-Mormon for a date.
I'll have to have my guard up, I know.
I've already had an amazing time at Church prom as well as two other school proms Church friends have asked me to, so this last one (my school's this time) is really just for formality since I'm in Student Government and have to go.
The thing is, my date's acting weird. I thought I could usually can read girls fairly well, but I'm not quite sure with this one.
I kinda like her, but I've probably made things awkward for her and I'm probably making things more complicated than they have to be.
I've been debating whether or not to do anything about it all year.
I'm a big Casual Group Date supporter, but don't really feel like going through the trouble of introducing it to school girls who definitely don't get it.
I used to have her in half my classes and asked her to be my date like two months ago, but since then, some classes have ended and now we don't see each other much. (though she lives around the corner, pathetic I know)
I'll text her now and then and see her in the hallway some, but she doesn't ever text first and doesn't always seem that into the conversation.
(I hate the drama and miscommunication texting innately brings.)
Whenever the subject of prom comes up (planning logistics even), she seems to dread it and has told me she has some reason for feeling this way that I will never know.
She's getting better about the issue, but I sure could live without the drama.
I've kinda gone back and forth over time with my attempts to pursue our friendship.
I want to get to know her and spend time with her, but I don't want her to get the wrong idea thinking I want a relationship, or even get her friends thinking it.
As tempting as the proposition sounds, I know I'm better off without the headache of a relationship, even at the end of senior year.
We're headed to colleges thousands of miles apart in the fall anyways, so it would be pointless.
Background: She's not normally drama-prone, which is partly why I asked her. She's never had a boyfriend, but she's sure social enough to have been there. It's actually something I find rather attractive. It's not that common to find a cute, super smart, fun, athletic, non-awkward girl who hasn't wasted a few years with boyfriend drama at school. She's a pretty good girl, but she curses a bit and I think she's been pressured into drinking before. It's hard to find someone who hasn't.
I personally find her friends to be annoying, but bearable.
My friends at school have goaded me, sometimes in front of her, about going after her.
("You've got to kiss her at prom! It'll make her night!" "Hey look, it's your prom date. She's mad cute.")
My feelings being torn between liking her and knowing I should hold back, it's created an awkward moment or two. Maybe this is the real issue here for her, I don't know.
Your take on the situation?
Esp, what do you think is going on in her head?
How should I act that night, just casual friends or a little more (I wish but know it would have consequences)?
Thanks,
Perplexed but Tempted
Dear Tempted,
I can't decide if you're an idiot, or you think I am . . .
Member or non, ALL of your dates, including Prom, need to be Casual Group Dates.
Even if you think the girls at school "don't get it", you need to play by the rules.
And, let's be honest here, pal, the reason you want to break the rules with this girl is your hoping that being in a non-group situation might provide the opportunity to ... do some kissin'.
The worst kind of temptation is the kind that we go looking for, the kind that we intend to pursue or give in to should the opportunity present.
I don't think there's anything wrong with liking her, but I certainly hope that you plan on going as part of a group for prom.
- Bro Jo
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