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Monday, April 28, 2014

Nervous About YSA Dating

Dear Bro Jo,

I am 17, and will be 18 in May, and I have recently started attending institute and a few YSA activities.

I've been really excited to go into YSA but things that have happenned have made me scared of YSA, dating and just growing up in general.

At the institute I attend one of the teachers is an RM who is about 22/23.

The other week two of my friends had ditched me (a guy and a girl who are practically going out, but not) and so I was sitting by myself after institute waiting for them to come back so we could go.

Anyway the teacher came up to me and started talking to me.

We spoke for a while and then he said he had to go.

I thought it was really nice of him to just randomly come up and talk to me and I kinda hoped I'd get to speak to him again.

A few days later I was at uni for the first time and I saw him but he didn't see me.

Then a few days later again I saw him and he came over and talked to me and my cousin who I was with. I figured he was just being nice, which you'll probably tell me he is, and so I thought nothing much of it.

Then last night (also a few days later) there was a YSA dance.

I don't know if I was allowed to be there or not - but I was.

My parents didn't really want me to go because they are worried that some guy will want to marry me or something and they think I am too young.

Which is fair enough - I don't want to be married at 18 or 19 either!

But I thought they were just being silly and went anyway. I saw my institute teacher there and while I was standing with a group of friends (including my cousin which he already knew) he came up and started talking to me.

Eventually my cousin was included in the conversation. But to start with it was just the two of us. After a bit he had to go find someone and so he left us. BUT before he left he said that we should meet up on campus sometime and asked for my number.

Which I gave to him without thinking. My friends all looked at me like I was crazy and I started to freak out.

Later on in the evening there was a slow dance and him and this other guy came up and asked me and my cousin to dance.

So basically I am incredibly scared/nervous/freaking out that I did something wrong; that this guy might want to date me; and that I'm way too naïve for YSA.

I haven't got a problem with this guy he's nice and we share a lot of the same interests but I have not had much casual dating practice let alone enough to start being looked at as a possible future companion!

I might just be over-reacting but I'm sure you have some advice for someone like me? 

Thanks,

- Nervous




Dear Nervous,

Yes, you're over reacting.

My advice is to breathe.

And if this Nice Guy ever actually asks you on a date, and I hope he's smart enough to do that, then tell him it will have to be a Casual Group Date until you turn 18 in May.

Simply going on a date doesn't mean you two are headed to the Temple.

It's just a date.

There's nothing wrong, by the way, with an 18 year old girl going out with a 21-22 year old guy.

And if she's mature enough and has done her due diligence, there's nothing wrong with a 19 year old woman getting married, either.

Let's see what happens.

He hasn't even asked you out yet.

For now, relax and enjoy this time in your life.

Dating is fun!

Most of the time . . .

- Bro Jo

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