Things to know

Regularly read by 50,000+ readers in over 140 countries around the world, "Dear Bro Jo" is published several times a month.

This is column is just one guy's opinion, and while he does his best to keep what he thinks, says and writes in-line with the Gospel of Jesus Christ, "Dear Bro Jo" is not an LDS Church website. (And Sister Jo thinks you should know that he's sometimes wrong, and often way too opinionated for his own good.)

Nothing here is meant to take the place of talking with parents, leaders, or Church authorities. Please, if you need serious help, talk to a trusted adult, leader, and / or professional counselor.

Please like our Facebook page, and check it often for Discussions, Notes, Events and just General Good Stuff!

Everything here is copyrighted. If you're going to quote any part of anything here, please get Bro Jo's written permission. You can reach him at

Friday, January 22, 2016

She Knows a Missionary Who's "Girl Back Home" is Planning on Marrying Someone Else

Dear Bro Jo,

Ok, Bro Jo, I have another missionary letter writing question for you.

Remember Rugby Boy #2?

He's now off serving his mission in (location withheld).

After we quit dating each other we stayed close friends; we talked about our new heartthrobs with each other often, gave each other advice, and have just generally been good buddies since then.

He quickly picked up another girlfriend whom I LOVE; they were very serious in their dating. (Both Freshmen at the Y if that information matters.)

Both Rugby Boy #2 and New Girl were delighted with the mission age change for sisters.

She put in her papers as quickly as she could and now has a call to (location withheld), leaving at the end of April.

So far so good with this story, right?

Well here's the problem: New Girl seems to have found a New Man.

He's an RM and their love story is all over both of their Facebook pages.

Trust me, this is no joke.

I think it's highly likely she's going to skip the mission and marry New Man.

Rugby Boy #2 has no idea of what's going on back home, and thinks New Girl's letters are getting shorter and less frequent because she's preoccupied with getting ready for her mission.

Elder RB #2 and I write each other about once or twice a month. Should I say something to him?

If he knew I knew something was up with her and I didn't tell him, he would be furious . . .

But, on the other hand, I feel like it should really be her job to write her own Dear John letter.

Hearing about it secondhand would really hard for him . . .

But I think it's likely she won't write the letter.

I think she'll just quit writing him altogether leaving him to wonder and worry.

What's a friend to do?

- Cheese

P.S. I think this whole situation nicely illustrates the stupidity of leaving a girlfriend behind. RB#2 is a very good missionary but this is bound to cause some serious heartache and distractions.

Dear Cheese,

All of the Elder Johnstons (current and former) would agree with your PS . . .

Just like any time when a friend is doing something wrong, you need to give them the opportunity to make it right.

Talk to her first.

Tell her how you feel and suggest that she write the letter.

If she won't do it (or hesitates), then tell her that you're going to write him and tell him that you told her to tell him and she refused.

And if she still won't tell him . . .

See, I'm a little torn here . . .

It's not really your place to tell him BECAUSE he's on a mission.

Here's why: Letters from you should be mission focused; even though he's writing the girl back home, he shouldn't be, so you shouldn't be talking about her at all.

Now that I think about it a little bit more, let me amend my previous thought: tell her that if she won't tell him, that you think he'll eventually ask you what's going on, and when he does you'll be forced to tell him the truth.

If he's mad because he has to hear it from you after the wedding . . . well, he's a big boy; he'll just have to man up and deal with it.

Shouldn't have had a girlfriend back home when he left, anyway.

- Bro Jo

1 comment:

Mia Mathews said...

Great post! I'd say it's really exemplary.