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Wednesday, January 20, 2016

She's 16 Now; How Come Boys Aren't Asking Her Out on Dates?

Dear Bro Jo,

I have been sixteen for 6 months now.

Before I turned 16 I thought the boys would be more into asking girls out - but they aren't really at all.

I haven't been asked out yet and I know many other girls from my ward that haven't either.

Is there something wrong with us ???

I go to the annual dances each month, go to any stake activities and are friends with a few guys from different wards who I wouldn't mind asking me out but they haven't.

I know we shouldn't be focused on dating right now, but I don't want to have my first date when I am in college !!

I just want to know why guys don't take the very obvious hints us girls give them ??


- Very Confused Girl

Dear VCG,

Guys don't seem to take the hints girls give because we're either:

  a) clueless

  b) shy

  c) afraid

  d) all of the above

I doubt there's anything wrong with you.

There are some things you can do.

Start with hosting some Video Parties and Game Nights so everyone gets to know each other better.

You may also want to check out Bro Jo's How a Girl Can Get a Guy to Ask Her on a Date.

Just make sure that you all follow the Casual Group Dating rules when you do start dating.

And if you don't get any dates before college, or not as many dates as you hope for, please understand that it is no way a commentary on your awesomeness!  Parents and Leaders right now seem to be failing to teach Young Men not only how to date, but that it an important social skill (not just for finding a spouse later, but Casual Group Dating can also prepare one for missionary service).  On top of that, the truth is that many of the most amazing girls date little or not at all until after High School.

Including Sister Jo.

Which worked out great for me!


- Bro Jo


Been there, done that! said...

Very Confused Girl,

You're not alone out there! I spent my teenage years in a ward where some of the young men did ask some girls out (usually only to the formal dances and nothing in between), but never me. And it wasn't because I was unattractive or undesirable. To this day, I still don't know exactly why. It was frustrating and I felt it was very stupid. Just don't lower your standards for anyone. Stick to the plan, pick-up, and pay method that Bro Jo recommends. Someday you'll meet someone who will think all these boys are morons for not seeing the catch you are now. :) (At least, that's what my husband thinks.)

Anonymous said...


I did not get asked on any dates until I was a sophomore in college at BYU-I. Even now, (graduated for almost 2 years) I still haven't been asked on many dates (I don't think my count is even up to 10 yet, and only one of those was a second date). I was involved in activities while I was in college and went dancing almost every night. Everyone tells me how smart, fun, awesome, etc, etc, I am. It's sometime very easy to tell yourself that there's something wrong with you, but as long as you are being your best self, I promise there isn't.

Sometimes you just have to trust in the Lord's timing, even if you can't see where you're going or what the plan is. Don't get too bogged down about it and have fun while you're in high school. Learn how to get to know people and make friends. It'll make your transition into young adulthood easier and more fun!