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Monday, May 15, 2017

About To Graduate and Never Had a Date?

Dear Bro Jo,

I'm a Senior in high school, I'm 17 years old, and I've never been on a date.

I am on my stake's youth council, and while I was getting my ecclesiastical endorsement from my stake president for BYU, he asked me if I date. It was a little mortifying to say that I've never been on a date, in fact, I haven't even had an actual crush since 8th grade, but I had to say it. It was especially bad since in my stake they push dating so much, in the casual setting of course. I haven't been telling boys that I'm not interested in dating or anything, and I many of my girlfriends go on dates frequently, but I just can't seem to get one.

Honestly, the closest thing I have had to a date, was going to dinner with my good friend since 3rd grade, my other girlfriend, and his 14 year old brother. I mean, I know this isn't a date, but it was the closest thing resembling a date I can count. I also don't count my Mormon Prom, considering I hardly saw my date the entire time, and I don't count Mormon Winter Formal, because for that I brought one of the boys I am friends with in the Special Education class I work in.

I guess my question here is, are guys this generation less willing to ask girls on dates in general, or is it that I am just not dateable? I feel like I am disappointing my parents and stake leaders by not dating, because they are so concerned that if I don't date now, I will have a hard time getting married later. I guess I just don't know what to make of this whole situation.


A Dating Virgin

Dear Dater,

First of all, it sounds like you've been on at least three dates, whether you count them or not.

Secondly, I think you need to reign in the drama a tad.  I doubt your lack of dating experience is a disappointment to your stake leaders.  Trust me; no one is in a meeting saying "how can she ever amount to anything if she doesn't date in high school?"  Because it’s not like you have opportunities and you’re shutting them down, right?


Finally, while I'm flattered you asked (and I thank you for reading and writing in), the truth is I'm not the person you should be talking to.  Sure, I can help with things like:

Bro Jo's "HOW a GIRL CAN GET a GUY to ASK HER on a DATE"

but you've got a great collection of girlfriends who are dating and know you much better than I do.  Ask them.  Ask them why they think they're getting asked out all the time and you're not.

Because, little sister, Information Precedes Revelation.

Once you know, then you can decide whether or not you need or want to change anything.

Oh, and while I'm thinking of it, not having a "crush" since 8th grade isn't a big deal.  Just be you:  a great girl whose value comes from God, not from boys.

- Bro Jo

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