Does This RM Want to Date Her?

Dear Bro Jo,

Thank you for the time you take to answer people’s questions, you truly have a gift and a heart for helping people. I have a question of my own. For some background information, I’m 19, I go to a non-Church school in the south, and since home is so close, I come home every couple of weeks and go to a YSA ward when I’m home.

I’ve been going to this ward for over a year and have never gotten a date or anything there, which doesn’t bother me because nobody there really caught my attention. But a couple of weeks ago a new guy came, I’ll call him John. John’s one of those guys that I think “oh he’s too good looking and outgoing, he’d never go for me” so he never crossed my mind as a romantic option. We were in the same Sunday school class that day and afterwards John was talking to my friend and when walked up by her to get my stuff he introduced himself to me.

I found out he lives 15 minutes away from my home and just got back from his mission in Mexico two weeks before and he’s 23. Still thought nothing of this, he was so outgoing and he was talking to a lot of people. I got home and Facebook stalked a little and EVERYBODY from the ward wrote on his wall about how excited they were to have him back and that they should hang out. So John’s just a really friendly, really nice, genuine, good guy.

Anyway, I went to a game night activity the next Friday with my friend and John showed up AND he made a point to come talk to me and I just thought he was being friendly to everyone, but my friend said he didn’t say hi to everybody and that he made a point to come say hi.

I think him and this other girl (who’s Hispanic and just got back from her mission, but is going back to school next semester) might have a “thing” because she’s Spanish and he’s kind of still obsessed with Spanish stuff because he just got back from mexico and I know they’ve hung out and saw them talk at church, but I'm not sure.

Anyway, the next day my friend convinced me to Facebook message him telling him that my friend and I were looking for something to do and we heard about another activity that night but was wondering if he knew any details. He messaged back saying he couldn’t come, but told me who to ask about it. It was just a ploy to get to talk to him, I already knew about the activity haha.

At Church the next day he came up to talk to me and was asking if we made it to the activity and that even though he couldn’t make it that we should hang out some other time. So my friends think he likes me and that I should Facebook message him about the next activity I go to, to see if he’s going. I’m not convinced he likes me and I don’t like making the first move!

So, finally my question is do you think he is interested in me at all?

And I really would like this to go somewhere and as cheesy as this sounds, he seems so perfect, like everything I ever wanted in a guy: RM, strong testimony, super nice, kind, funny and way cute!

Should I wait for him or make another move?

And sorry this is so long!!!

-Confused




Dear Confused,

I have no idea if he's romantically interested in you or just, as you say, being a nice guy.

I say wait another week or two (at the most) and give him a chance to make a move and you a chance to gather more information.  Missionaries need some transition time, you know.

If, after say 4-6 weeks of flirting and hinting he hasn't ask you out, you'd still like him to, but you're not sure where he stands . . . ask him.  "Hey, are you thinking about ever asking me on a date?"

It's not as forward as you might think it is.

If you can't bring yourself to ask, you could always get a friend to ask him if he's ever going to ask you out . . . but I think it's better if it comes from you personally.  In person.  No FB messages or texting!

- Bro Jo