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Monday, October 19, 2009

How to Meet Girls

Dear Bro Jo,

First let me say that your blog and facebook websites are amazing!

Anywho, I'm a 16 year old young man. I just got out of a relationship which lasted for well over a year, quite a while back. I do regret being in such a relationship, due to the fact that during the time i was in that relationship, i was not living to the church's standards, e.g we were alone neally all of the time.

However, my young men's leader has seen a definate change in my attitude, and now im living the church to the best of my abilities. For example, ive stopped swearing, and am attending the temple next week, which im looking forward to!!

But now i think im ready to "date" young women from church, only problem is, im in a ward that has very little youth (im 1 of 3 young men and the only girl is my sister).

I guess my question is, how can i go about apporching the young women of my stake?

Thank you for reading my email

- AG


Dear AG,

Are you talking about approaching / asking out members or non?

(not that it matters too much, just curious)

(and thanks for the kind words, BTW)

- Bro Jo


Dear Bro Jo,

Members

 - AG


Dear AG -

By "approach", I'm guessing that you're asking me how to get to know them better and ask them on Casual Group Dates . . .


First of all, people are people, inside the Church or out.  If you want to get to know more people, you have to put yourself in Social Situations where people are at.  To meet more LDS Young Women in your Stake, you'll want to attend all the activities you can, including Sunday meetings and Seminary.

I'm a Big Fan of Church Dances - they're low pressure, and a great opportunity to meet a lot of girls from around the stake that you might not otherwise have many opportunities to approach. While you're dancing use your conversational skills to get names and phone numbers (and do a little Age Verification - some of those Not Quite Old enough to Date Sisters will look much older than they are).

Get a couple good Dating Buddies. Develop a good Casual Date Plan. (Sister Jo and I strongly encourage our Dating Age sons to go out at least once a month)

Plan - Pick Up - Pay

You don't have to know a Young Woman super well to ask her out. Getting to know each other is what dating is all about.

And at this point, Casual Group Dating, there's no need to Only Date Church Girls. You do need to make it clear that your attitude about dating is that you're not in this to find a Girlfriend; you simply want to have Good Clean Fun. Follow the Dating Rules.


Ultimately the key is to just be the best You you can be. Be Kind. Be Courteous. Be Nice. Be Approachable. And, as in any situation where you're meeting new people, focus on making the conversation about them, not about you.

I hope you enjoyed the Temple trip, and I'm glad you're turning things around.

- Bro Jo


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