Dear Bro Jo,
Wow I didn't know that my other letter would be posted on your blog too! What a neat surprise!
Anyways I will just follow up in that case on Homecoming night, though it was more than a month ago...
Getting ready with my friends and having dinner at someone’s house was REALLY fun.
The dance, however, was kind of just... blah..
My school's gym was decorated nicely and things looked pretty well set-up, but the music was unbelievably loud, and since I had never gone to a high school dance, my eyes were opened and I was totally shocked at how people were dancing. After an hour and a half, I grabbed my purse, said good-bye to my friends, and dashed outta there.
I went down the freeway from the school to my Stake Center, which at the moment was hosting a Stake Dance. I found some younger friends of mine to hang out there, and the remainder of the night went well. CLEAN dancing, and if I might add, I got the chance to dance with two nice guys. I definitely felt more comfortable there.
So I got a dose of homecoming, and I will go to prom later in the year just because I'm a senior and would actually like to go for all of that stuff. So I learned, not getting a date for homecoming and having the freedom to go to a Stake Dance instead wasn't so bad. :)
~Single Sista
Dear Sista,
I'm glad to hear that you had a good time!
If you'll allow, I'd like to use your follow up letter as an excuse to chastise Stake Leadership worldwide.
You're making a serious mistake, brothers and sisters, when you sponsor a Stake Dance the same night as a school dance. We as Latter-day Saints have been admonished to be IN the world. The grinding and groping that this reader saw is a world-wide epidemic. Our children are over sexualized and you leaders who create same-night alternatives are doing nothing to help make the world a better place.
Yes, you're giving your children a better atmosphere, but if you and your kids were at the school dance instead of the Stake Center you could go a long way towards helping those that are not members of the Church enjoy a wholesome activity. Dances don't have to be dirty to be fun, you know that, and so do your kids, but if you continue to hide your light under a bushel . . . well, the school dances will just keep getting worse.
Keep having Stake Dances, by all means. But on the nights of Homecoming, Winter Formal, and Prom, you and your age-appropriate children need to be at the school dance, standing for what's right and participating in the event.
And, while I'm on the subject, encourage your kids to go to dances held in the gyms at other churches, too. And invite those good kids to your dances and LDS Proms. When it comes to fighting immorality and standing for God, we need to all work together.
- Bro Jo
6 comments:
Bro Jo,
I agree with you about being in the world and being a good example, but having gone through all of high school and middle school, I think I went to roughly 20 church dances and a total of 2 school dances (my 8th grade graduation and my senior homecoming). I'm not sure about your area of the country, but at least in my area of the east coast of the US, the school dances were sickening. The dancing was beyond inappropriate and the music was full of cursing and innuendos, so I made a decision that I did not want to subject myself to that
I let my light shine when I was in school, and I brought probably 10-15 different people to church dances through all of my high school career, but I never I've never regretted not going to more school dances. I do wish I had been a little bit more outgoing and shared the gospel a little more, but I don't think going to dances where inappropriate things are going on should be the way.
I don't necessarily disagree with you, Robin, but the horrid nature of public school dances (so bad in some areas that I've heard them labeled - by the students - as "pubic school dances") won't get any better if the good kids (like yourself) just walk away.
Kids and (perhaps more importantly) their parents need to stop tolerating these school-sponsored immorality fests.
The problem, sadly, isn't new. I went to a middle school in a predominantly LDS area where it was very common to see kids groping each other under their clothes while out on the dance floor.
It sickens and saddens me when teachers, parents, school boards and administrators refuse to set and hold to morality standards.
Somewhere there's a line between going to a cesspool dance and allowing wickedness to continue because we divorce ourselves from the situation.
Bottom line is that I think it's wonderful that your area sponsored so many Church Dances AND that you're the type of good friend that encouraged others (including non-LDS kids) to go - good for you!
- Bro Jo
I've gotta say I disagree entirely.
LDS youth (like me) have been instructed to "stand in holy places".
I think a better example would be to say I'm not going because that's not the type of place or situation I would want to be in. Giving up something like prom is a big deal...people will see that example.
Not to mention the spirit wouldn't go into a place like that.
My advice to anyone trying to decide whether or not to go to a school dance..DON'T DO IT.
Every LDS youth i know who have gone have regretted it. Saying they felt guilty for walking into a "live rated R movie"
I was asked to prom, and said no. After explaining my reason why, he respected my decision, and we planned something to do instead on that same night. I'm still happy and proud of myself for making that decision.
once again I would like to remind everyone of the council to "Stand ye in holy places"
Well . . . it's not just youth, it's everybody; we're all supposed to "stand in holy places". While that advice means "don't hang out in a den of iniquity" it also is talking about making the place in which you stand holy.
We're also taught to be IN the world but not OF the world.
When good people, including and especially Latter-day Saints, sequester themselves too much, our acquiescence leads to further iniquity in the world.
No one should ever go somewhere or do something that makes them feel spiritually uncomfortable, but I think you and the boy that asked you missed an opportunity to make a bad situation better.
- Get on the Dance Committee
- Speak to School Administration
- Talk to other friends who feel the same
- Go to the dance, and when an inappropriate song comes on, complain to one of the chaperons; if it doesn't get better, then leave
You missed an opportunity to share and support your standards; and from my perspective, you abandoned the other Good Kids (like yourself) who went to the dance. As a group your voice is more powerful.
When a young person stands up in school and says to their teacher "I don't think this movie you're about to show is appropriate", he is doing more to further the cause of Christ than his classmates that sit and say nothing, and more than students who stayed home "in protest".
Telling the boy why you wouldn't go is Good.
Telling the School why you had to tell the boy "no" would have been Better.
Rallying your friends who feel the same way you do, making an effort to make Prom better for you and everyone that follows you . . . that would have been Best.
- Bro Jo
For once, BroJo, I have to say I completely disagree.
I have been homeschooled my whole life and never went to a school dance except that during my senior year, a good friend who was a junior asked me to Prom. I got the dress, the hair, we had dinner and went with a group of predominantly good LDS kids. And let me just say that I would so much rather have been at a Stake Dance.
I don't care what school officials you talk to, what kind of music gets played and what kind of dancing gets done. My spirit would have been so much more comfortable in a place where they open and close the dance with prayer. I would have liked to be dancing in a room that's been dedicated by a righteous Priesthood holder.
To me, "of the world" is settling for a dance run by people who are of the world, and attended by people who are of the world. I heartily applaud church dances scheduled simultaneously with school dances, and would just like to encourage the youth to invite their non-member friends to the dedicated building to a dance with clean music that opens and closes with prayer. Here, we like to call it Mormon Prom.
:)
Please don't misunderstand - I'm a HUGE proponent of Church Dances.
Let me approach it this way: since the public school dances are so bad in many of the areas where many of you live, how do you propose we make them better?
- Bro Jo
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