Dear Bro Jo:
I've certainly reviewed my options before I wrote my last letter, and I appreciate you restating them for me. Possibility number 5 has obviously crossed my mind as exactly that (a possibility), but was in no way an option.
Like I stated, I've been open enough to get issues like this resolved with my bishop before, and I would never want to leave on my mission unworthily (I had a friend who ended up doing that, and felt so guilty halfway through that he confessed and ended up leaving a year early). That's not something I want for me or for the people I teach, as it would be a waste of time to try to convert without the guidance and influence of the Holy Ghost. Naturally I'm nervous about bringing this up to my bishop; it's not a particularly pleasant experience to talk about these things.
But my question was not aimed at whether or not I should bring it up to my bishop (I'd already been leaning towards options 2, 3, or 4), rather whether or not I should expect my call to be delayed or cancelled until I'm worthy to go. Technically, no, it's not important in the grand scheme of things... but it's still something I'd like to be emotionally prepared for if at all possible. I'd be lying if I didn't say that some part of the reason I'm Worried is because of what my bishop and/or family will think... but I'm mostly worried about not being able to leave when I was supposed to, because I know there are people out there that I need to be with at the time I'm supposed to be with them.
I can share what happened and enlighten you if you think it will provide a better answer, but if you plan on putting this letter in your blog, I'm sure you already know that something like that probably shouldn't be posted. I'm ok with everything else being shared.
Thanks again,
Hermana Worried
Dear Hermana,
As I said: you're more worried about what People think than making things right with God.
Normal and understandable, but you need to set it aside.
"Dear Bro Jo" is known for being frank, honest, and sometimes graphic. If you want to share, that's up to you, I have no idea whether it will need to be toned down or not. I have no idea whether what you did will affect your leaving date. Even if you told me what you did, I'm not in the position to make that judgement.
Talk to your Bishop. Now.
It's not going to get any better if you wait.
- Bro Jo
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