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Thursday, November 3, 2011

The Rebound Guy?

Dear Bro Jo,

I've had a pretty interesting past months. I'd been dating this guy, who I was sure I was in love with. We'd dated for almost a year. About a month ago, he broke up with me. It was blunt and harsh. He'd left with a rough good-bye, and started dating this other girl. He left me heartbroken, and on the verge of depression.

Now I've met a new guy. I like him, and he likes me. There's only one thing keeping us from dating, the bad breakup and my friends. He doesn't exactly fit into our group of friends (Don't worry, he's LDS. More LDS than my group.). Basically, he's my better half. This goes back to the girls and guys can't be best friends without falling in love. He was my shoulder to cry on, the one who supported me through the whole rough breakup.

The issue is, my friends are convinced he's just a rebound. (Basically a rebound is the guy you get with to make the old one jealous.). They say it will be over in a week, and that I shouldn't even bother. His friends have told him the same.

But I'm over my ex, he's just a fleeting memory. I want to be with this guy, but we're afraid.

Any advice?


Dear Afraid,

We get sealed to a spouse, not our friends.

You have to date this guy; if you don't you'll always wonder "what if".

If you date and it is over in a week, then at least you'll both know, and that's better than the alternative.

Plus, and I sincerely mean this, things like "a rebound guy" or "transitional man" are clichés; maybe he is, and maybe he isn't. (Maybe your "not so LDS group of friends doesn't get that.)

You've got to know.

 And so does he.

- Bro Jo

PS: Let me know how it works out!


Anonymous said...

Bro Jo,

Sorry to ask this in a comment, but I'm not using email. What are the rules for a service missionary? Are they the same for a regular missionary? This is actually a very important question even though it doesn't sound like it.


Dave Johnston said...

I wish you had emailed because your question begs a lot of questions:

What rules are you asking about?

How old of a Missionary?

And what do you mean when you say "service missionary"?

And, curious, why do you ask?

If I guess at what you mean by all of those, I think your answer is going to be "exactly the same", but again, there are a lot of variables. Check with your Mission President, Stake President, or Bishop.

Or, if you prefer, my email address is:

- Bro Jo

Anonymous said...

Umm, I guess I'm asking about relationships with people (girls) What if the missionary in question doesn't have a companion because of his specific mission? And I ask because I felt just a leetle bit uncomfortable with some things. Anyway, sorry it's not an email. If you prefer not to answer in a comment I will ask someone else. Thanks!

Dave Johnston said...

It's not that I "prefer", its that this format doesn't work well for communication.

And your comments are rather . . . vague.

As far as I can tell from what you're asking, I think the answer you're looking for is this:

All Young Male LDS Missionaries have a companion. ALL. If you see or know of one somewhere without his companion, that's a Red Flag, and someone in authority needs to know. If you're not certain whom to tell, send me the details and I'll take care of it.

- Bro Jo

Rebecca said...

I wonder... is Anonymous talking about service missions, like where you're called to serve at the bishops store house in a part time mission? Where you don't actually leave home, but you commit to help through service for a specified amount of time each week? (my sister did that a few years back.) I don't know much more than that though, because I was out at college when she was doing it.