Temple Dates

Dear Bro Jo,

Hi, it's me again. FYI, things petered out with my 27 yr old. He came up to take me out last week and dropped the "f" word ("friend" ;)). But I'm fine with that. After all he is 10 years older than I am, and I'm at school with thousands of young, eligible men. :)

But that's not important.

I just have a quick question about the temple.

I know you've written before about how going to the temple is a very bad date idea before engagement. I mostly agree, but I'm not sure if we agree for the same reason. My grandmother, who teaches a marriage and family class or marriage prep or something (my grandfather was also the YSA bishop for 3 years), told me that I shouldn't study the scriptures with any guy I'm not engaged to. She said that the Spirit can often be confused for love, because it essentially brings the witness that our Heavenly Father loves us. So I'm guessing that that applies to the temple as well.

I can see both sides, because I have gone to do baptisms with a few different guys before. Two were great spiritual experiences, without any emotional weight. The other.... well, I felt uncomfortable, to put it simply. So personally, I think that going to the temple with someone is not always a bad idea, but it can be.

What is your reasoning on temple "dates"?

Thanks,

18



Dear 18,

Sorry about the old guy; clearly he wasn't smart enough.

My reason for saying dates to the Temple are bad is exactly the same as your grandma's advice about pre-engagement scripture study. (Wise woman, your grandma; I hope you listen to her often.)

Plus, frankly, I think it's weird; its the LDS equivalent of "playing married", as far as I'm concerned.

Going to the Temple is a great idea, but go as a YSA group, not paired off.

- Bro Jo



Dear Bro Jo,

Yet again, thank you! (My grandma is pretty much the awesomest person I know. :) ) And I'm over the "old guy". I still think he's one of the most all-around neat people I've ever met, but I've moved on to younger and more local dudes. And I'm assuming he's moved on as well.

I love when things resolve themselves!

BTW, have you ever spoken at BYU-I? Basically, dating is part of living the Honor Code (Seriously. It's nick-named BYU-I Do for a reason.), so I think people up here would love you.

Just a thought.

- 18



Dear 18,

I'm glad. And thank you for the kind words.

I'm often available for speaking in classes and at firesides, and BYU-I-Do is only a 3 1/2 hour drive away!

People who are interested in having me come visit should check with a college teacher or advisor, their Ward or Stake activities specialist, local Deseret Book or Campus Bookstore.

It's actually really cheap; I don't charge a speaking fee for "Dear Bro Jo" stuff, so typically you're just looking at transportation (which is just gas money if you're close enough for me to drive - which is actually a pretty big radius and not needed if you're within a stake or two of where I live) and a place to stay (again, check with Stake Leadership) if you're more than a four hour drive away (which BYU-I is not).

Happy dating!


- Bro Jo