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Saturday, November 5, 2011

Five Quick Pre-Mission Dating Questions

Dear Bro Jo,

Firstly, thanks for your help so far!

Really helps me out.

And I definitely am a premie at the moment (I've got a solid 10 or so months before I anticipate being out on the mish mash). Which is why I'm so hesitant to try for a kiss or hold her hand because (as lame as this next bit might sound) I'm afraid we'll both want to go "steady" and I'll get too overly involved with her and have it jeopardize how I apply myself in the mission field, or if I even go at all (which is another question I have, and I'll get to that later).

And because we both plan on going our separate ways soon, it just seems like bad timing. But!

Remember how I told you about how this girl seemed a little bit distant? Well the other night we had a fireside, and I made sure to sit by her (and she acknowledged and approved of my seating choice it definitely put a bit of a smile on my face). We were talking, joking, everything's going great.

Then after it was done and we're all just hanging out at the Bishops house, every time I tried following her into another room to talk to her, joke around, etc. she would just migrate somewhere else as soon as I walked in!

Wee bit frustrating.

And then my brother (twin brother no less, so we're always in a constant state of competition with each other) seems to be able to strike up a conversation with her and get her attention no problem!

I hate to sound like a complainer, because I'm all for the hard to get bit, but it's so frustrating! And I can't fault (name withheld) because he's got no idea, as far as I know, that I like this girl. He's just doing his thing.

But besides allllll this typical teenage mumbo jumbo, the other day she said we should find time to hangout soon, and threw in a nice smiley face (this was by text).

So I was like "Well shoot, that's a fantastic idea! Because I've got a pail of sidewalk chalk, and no one to share it with. So if your free sometime soon..." And she said it sounded like fun.

But the fact that she suggested we hangout is definitely a good sign, yeah?

Now I've got 2 other mostly unrelated questions if you don't mind. (You seem to have an answer to everything!). With regards to what I was talking about before, there's this guy I know. My best friend. I love this kid, I mean he's like a brother to me.

Before he moved away we were always up to something.

But he moved away, we sorta shifted away, and now he's got this girlfriend. He's even closer to serving a mission then I am, but the way he talks about this girl, I've got a gut feeling he won't end up going and he'll choose her instead. How do I get him to reconsider?

Because if what I'm hearing from their friends is accurate, they've pretty much decided already that they're getting married when they've both returned. Which to me sounds absolutely crazy!

So how do I get him to sort of re-organize his priorities? Without sounding "preachy"?

Second and final question (again, I appreciate you taking the time to help me out!). Is it alright if a guy asks a girl out via text?

Sometimes I think yes, but I also think something of this nature requires a personal touch. I mean, if she says no, it's a lot easier to take through a text message. But then it doesn't sound entirely genuine either. I'm one of those guys that gets SUPER nervous when I try to ask a girl on a date, so doing it with a text message always seemed like the logical route.

But I certainly don't want a girl to think "oh, text message means a casual thing" even though a date is what I was trying to imply?


Dear Pre,

1. Tell your twin you like her before we have the makings of a Greek tragedy on our hands.

2. Stop following her everywhere, you stalker.

3. No, it is not a good sign that she wants to "hang out". It means you're in the friend zone. The "hang out" isn't okay until you're in a committed relationship. Before then it's death. Of course, until you come HOME from your Mission, it doesn't matter too much.

4. You can't MAKE your friend do anything. If he really is a close friend then you're obligated to share with him your concerns about him and his girlfriend. But you also need to be aware that he'll likely pick her over you.

5. No, in my opinion it's lame, and even pathetic, to ask a girl out via text. I think you should have your cell phone confiscated 90 days for even thinking about it.

- Bro Jo

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