Things to know

Regularly read by 50,000+ readers in over 140 countries around the world, "Dear Bro Jo" is published several times a month.

This is column is just one guy's opinion, and while he does his best to keep what he thinks, says and writes in-line with the Gospel of Jesus Christ, "Dear Bro Jo" is not an LDS Church website. (And Sister Jo thinks you should know that he's sometimes wrong, and often way too opinionated for his own good.)

Nothing here is meant to take the place of talking with parents, leaders, or Church authorities. Please, if you need serious help, talk to a trusted adult, leader, and / or professional counselor.

Please like our Facebook page, and check it often for Discussions, Notes, Events and just General Good Stuff!

Everything here is copyrighted. If you're going to quote any part of anything here, please get Bro Jo's written permission. You can reach him at dearbrojo@gmail.com.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Which Girl?

Dear Bro Jo

It's me again. The situation this time still involves the same girl. My situation is that her (let's call her Flirt), our mutual friend (let's call her Loudy), and me have formed a sort of group. Flirt and Loudy have been best friends for a long long time. We all live not too far away from each other, and seeing as we're in the country, we're are also some of the only youth there.

Me and Loudy talk frequently over the phone and I would say more than me and Flirt. Our conversations have little flirting but are still interesting in terms of casual conversational content. The relationship me and Flirt have is strange to say the least. I have very little romantic interest in her, but still have engaging conversations. She has no trouble telling me that she thinks I'm exceptionally good-looking, nearly perfect personality, nice smile, etc. Yet she still claims that she has no romantic interest whatsoever. We feel close and can talk about a lot of things, almost like we're each other’s therapists. I did have an incident when trying to coordinate a ride to a faraway dance, where I ended up spending the night at her house, and was picked up in the morning. When Flirt found out, she made a big deal of how it's going to be so cool and we better keep it 'G-rated' (no trouble on my part) I made a joke about how I like to have fun and Flirt seemed to get a little annoyed.

Me and Flirt have had some progression in the sense that her parents have finally tried to change her physical ways by basically grounding her, telling her why ,and it is effective until they think she's changed to some extent. We still flirt, and recently I've talked to her over the phone and she told me she finds me amusing, I have a great smile, would only consider a guy who is bilingual (which I am), and I managed to keep her laughing basically the whole time. She also feels she can share information about her personal life, like problems with friends and that sort of thing (Am I being to much of a 'Friend'? I don't want to be friendzoned!).

When I was going over a "Post-Flirty Conversation Analysis" with Loudy, she talked and then abruptly told me that Flirty doesn't like me (Me and Flirty were just having that great conversation previously mentioned and were forced to stop talking, but agreed to call each other the next day) but then quickly said, "oh that was a little cold, sorry".

I'm not sure that was a mistake. I know from Loudy that when they talk, (and they talk almost every day) the conversation often turns to me and Flirt is the one who usually brings it up. I know she's compared her first name with my last name and apparently she liked how it sounded (from what I know the last name-matching thing is basically sacred to girls) Flirt also told me how she was feeling a little excluded from me and Loudy because we talk so much more, and seem to spend time more than me and her, stating she sometimes feels like a third wheel, but she'll get over it. So I suspect there is some amount of jealousy occurring here. Loudy also recently burst into a rant about how I always bring Flirty into the conversation, and she's annoyed by the fact that all the boys they both know seem to like Flirty more than her.

Now that I have given the details from which to analyze. Here is my question/problem:  is Loudy interested in me but is trying to make it seem like she's not, yet tries to dampen my spirit when we talk about Flirty by saying Flirty doesn't like me?

Also I'm wondering if Flirt is interested as well?

I'm feeling so confused. I know something here is not right, not all the roles played are matching up properly. Something is wrong and would just like some help on figuring this out. What the viewpoints of Flirty and Loudy are likely to be.

Thank you so much

- The Russian Bear



Dear Bear,

I'm not sure if either girl likes you or if they're just being territorial (girls sometimes do that, you know). My guess is that they probably do like you at least on some level, but at your age you shouldn't be pursuing a girlfriend, so I wouldn't worry about it too much.

Stop over analyzing everything and just enjoy being young and alive.

- Bro Jo


Oh, and while I'm thinking about it, I don't think it's very wise to be asking each girl about the other.

- Bro Jo



Dear Bro Jo,

Hmm, well I hope I'll find out sometime later in life. I'll keep the not talking about the other girl in mind. Thanks for the help, being young and alive really are something to appreciate!

- Bear


Dear Bear,

Indeed, it is.

- Bro Jo

1 comment:

Ashley said...

My favorite part is the "last name matching things is sacred to girls" or however he says it... hahahahaha I laughed... cause it's so true!!