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Friday, April 27, 2012

Is This Relationship Ready to Move to the Next Level - Part 2

[Readers - This is Part-2 of a column that published Friday, April 20th, 2012. - Bro Jo]

Dear Bro Jo,

You asked for an update, so here it is. My roommate didn't want to talk to his roommate, and I didn't have his roommate's number so I just texted him what you said I should tell his roommate. He replied back a few hours later to say he just wanted to be friends. I agree with you about guys and girls not being just friends, but in this case I can't completely stop talking to him, since my roommate hangs out with his roommate a lot and he's always with his roommate and I'm always with my roommate. (Plus we run into each other a lot on campus and at campus events).

Now of course the question is who to date and how to get them to ask me out. I'd only been on 2 dates before him, the first guy I asked to go see a movie with me (which means I paid of course), and the second date was a blind date set up by a guy who liked my roommate. He wanted to go with her to the masquerade last semester, but my best friend and my other roommate and myself were already planning on going together so he set us up with a couple of his friends to make it a triple date. Currently I'm not even interested in any of the guys I've seen in my classes or in my ward. Any advice?


Dear Curious,

Tons of advice.

1) No more "movie parties" at your apartment. You sisters are letting these guys off the hook to easy. Movie parties are for 13-year olds. At your age they allow guys to hang out with women without putting forth any effort. The cowards are lazy enough; make them work for you.

2) No more asking guys out. Good Guys don't like aggressive girls, and ALL guys figure that if you're doing the asking then you're not worth being asked. We both know that's not true, but that's what they think, so knock it off.

3) Widen your circle and be patient. Go to activities at other wards, get involved on campus, and go spend time where guys can be found (like sporting events, the library, and the cafeteria) - you can't get noticed if no one ever sees you.

4) Make a pact with your roommates to set each other up on dates. Here's what you do: every time one of you says to a guy "hey, you should ask out my roommate" and he does, that girl puts $1 in a jar. Keep a list of who sets up whom. When a roommate gets married, if one of you set that roommate up with that guy, you get all the money in the jar and it starts over.

Getting married is like getting a job: it won't happen if you sit around home and put forth no effort.

Share all this with your roommates, and go to work!

- Bro Jo

Dear Bro Jo,

Thanks for the advice! I'll share it with my roommates tomorrow when we have our apartment prayer and I'll see what I can do about implementing the last one. :)

- Curious

Dear Curious,

Any time.

- Bro Jo


Anonymous said...

Bro Jo,

I have been reading your blog for quite some time and I get it, you're into the gender roles. However, a girl asking a guy out is not "aggressive." If a guy is uncomfortable with a girl asking him out, he is probably insecure and not a "good" guy . Seriously, it's not the 1950's anymore...

Jesse said...

Hi Bro Jo,

I can see where you are trying to go with this advice. I respectfully disagree with some of your advice. These flirty mind games and friends telling guys to ask you out you recommend do not work and it is a little immature in fact. Never underestimate the power of words. If you like a guy, just talk to him. It's not being aggressive. It's having some autonomy in developing your own personal relationships.


Dave Johnston said...

@ Jesse -

Spoken like a guy.

I always advocate communication; there are times to confess you like someone, and times you shouldn't. (That goes for guys and girls, btw.)

As for the "flirty mind games" . . . they always work. Internationally and throughout time.

- Bro Jo

Dave Johnston said...

@ Anon -

Respectfully, you couldn't be more wrong.

- Bro Jo