[Dear Readers,
Being a Single Adult - the kind that's over 30 and wants to get married - can be a real challenge, especially in the Church. (Those of you that are there will agree, I'm sure.) We could discuss the whys and what-to-dos . . . I have before, and will perhaps again, but starting today, and for the next few Fridays, I'm going to share with you a series of emails that I got from one such Single Adult Sister, not unlike many others, but also with her own challenges.
We start here after a series of back-and-forth emails over a long time. She's decided not to let her challenges stand in her way, and is ready to adopt a new positive attitude and try again.
I hope you enjoy her story.
- Bro Jo]
Dear Bro Jo,
Hello!
Regarding the copy of "Bro Jo's Guide to Relationships" that you sent for me to review, I just finished the book and I liked it. It got more and more focused as it went along. Making it EXACTLY what I'd hoped to read.
I made a goal for myself: redouble my efforts to attend singles activities. You'll be happy to know I did meet a guy I'm very interested in getting to know. He's new to (my area) so he hasn't been corrupted yet! :p
I met him at the Single Adult Christmas White Elephant thingy. He sat several people over from me. I had never seen him before, but I can tell you this: I caught him looking at me several times and each time I did he gave me a big smile and I have to admit his was a smile that melted my heart. Of course I smiled back (like you'd suggested).
We spoke afterwards, in the middle of it we were interrupted, and he excused himself, talked to the other person, and then came right back. Manners!!!! YES!!!
He went out of town to see his family but will be back sometime this week. I sent him a note on Facebook wishing him a Merry Christmas & Happy New Year. He wrote back so . .. at least we have established a loose, light, casual communication. He seems like an absolute doll!
Tonight I get to go up to a different area to a SA dance. I'm trying to decide what to wear.
Slacks?
No I think I'm gonna wear a skirt.
The problem is, I've discovered that all my clothes are either casual or business. Nothing really to wear for a dance, let alone a date. So I'm going to the mall in search of a nice perfume to add my scent to the masses. LOL
Since everyone keeps telling me I always look so business-like, yet when I go to the mall they try to sell me skanky clothes. I call them "Bible" tops, Low and Behold!
I think a perfume will help when the clothes won't.
You know what, I think you need Sis. Jo's help when it comes to telling guys how to flirt. If I ask a guy what he's thinking while I'm dancing with him, and he says "nothing," I think he's bored . . . and that is annoying.
Anyway, I'm getting cold out here waiting for the trolley. I'd better start doing some jumping jacks!
GIVE SIS JO A HUGE HUG and happy new year. This year is going to be the best one yet; I CAN FEEL IT!
Single Adult Sister
Dear Single Adult Sister,
We hope you had a great time!
Every girl needs that basic little black dress (we love your "bible dress", analogy!), not too little, more like "to shew the people and the princes her beauty: for she was fair to look on".
Guys, while simple creatures, are never empty headed. When we say "nothing" we mean "something", we just don't think we should say. We're also very visual creatures; we look at what we're thinking about. If we're looking out in space, the mind is wandering; if we're looking at you and we say "nothing", trust me, we're not thinking "nothing".
:)
Happy New Year!
- Bro Jo
Hey Brother Jo,
The dance was great!
The Single Adults in that area really know how to have fun!
They had the dance, but it was held in a HUGE stake center. One that has what looked like two cultural halls. They share the stage area, but there has to be a wall there too, because the music doesn't carry from one side to the other. They had a dance on one side and on the other (in the smaller cultural hall) they had a "lounge" with live music and food and tables set up.
They had "lounges set up in each of the foyers for each decade of age (30s, 40s, 50+) they also had "Speed mingling" for each decade set up through the night.
I really, really enjoyed myself!
AND, as an added bonus . . . I met a great guy!
His name is "Bob" (pseudonym).
He'd come from another area, over by the temple.
He's funny and smart! Nice combo, and it doesn't hurt that he's a hottie too!
HOTTIE!
We danced the night away and had fun doing so. He's got a great job and works at an a big company . . . I didn't even know they had one of those here.
When we ended the night with the last song, he said, "This isn't the song I would have chosen to end it with." So when I asked him what he would have preferred he told me to look up, "Love is in the Air" when I got home. I did when I got up this morning. What a cheesy fun guy! His dad lives down here in my area and he visits him quite a bit, so . . . we'll see!
I've been thinking about your nothing comment. If a guy tells me "nothing" with a little grin while looking at me, then I know he's thinking about something! (I maybe crazy, but I'm not THAT clueless!) The key is the little grin---something guys often forget to do because they are so nervous in the first place.
Oh and I never did get the smelly perfume, I called the store and found out they had a line out the door, so I went home and found a blouse that I'd forgotten I'd bought recently.
Anyway, I really do think this year is going to be the best year yet! High five! Take care and hope you aren't freezing up there in MT. It's going to be a gorgeous day here! (so nee, ner, nee ner! LOL)
- SASsy (see what I did there?)
Dear Sassy,
(Yes, I did see what you did, and I think it's great!)
We're happy you're happy!
I hope this guy you met is smart and asks you out!
- Bro Jo
PS: That Lounge Idea is brilliant! I hope SA Dances everywhere pick it up and use it.
Dating, Relationship and Other Advice for LDS Teens, Young Single Adults, and anyone else who could use a little help (since 2009) from someone who cares enough to give it to you straight.
Things to know
Regularly read by 50,000+ readers in over 140 countries around the world, "Dear Bro Jo" is published several times a month.
This is column is just one guy's opinion, and while he does his best to keep what he thinks, says and writes in-line with the Gospel of Jesus Christ, "Dear Bro Jo" is not an LDS Church website. (And Sister Jo thinks you should know that he's sometimes wrong, and often way too opinionated for his own good.)
Please like our Facebook page, and check it often for Discussions, Notes, Events and just General Good Stuff!
This is column is just one guy's opinion, and while he does his best to keep what he thinks, says and writes in-line with the Gospel of Jesus Christ, "Dear Bro Jo" is not an LDS Church website. (And Sister Jo thinks you should know that he's sometimes wrong, and often way too opinionated for his own good.)
Nothing here is meant to take the place of talking with parents, leaders, or Church authorities. Please, if you need serious help, talk to a trusted adult, leader, and / or professional counselor.
Please like our Facebook page, and check it often for Discussions, Notes, Events and just General Good Stuff!
Everything here is copyrighted. If you're going to quote any part of anything here, please get Bro Jo's written permission. You can reach him at dearbrojo@gmail.com.
1 comment:
I have to disagree slightly jo. There are times when I just honestly not keeping a train of thought. Now, I can assure everyone if I am dancing with a girl, I have clear thought prosses, but if I'm playing card games on my computer, I'm not focused on anything. Usually, if I am with a girl and she asks me what I am thinking, I would say "nothing" either to be a flirt, to gauge her reaction, or because I don't want to tell her I'd like to kiss her (or something clean like that.) If I think my thoughts would offend her, I would just make something up.
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