When an LDS Girl You Like is Serious Single Dating a Non-Member and You're Pre-Mission

Hey Bro Jo,

There's this girl in my ward and some see her as a bit of a ditz and judge her because of her past.

But recently I have gotten to know her a lot better and I've been able to help her to learn about the gospel more (she didn't know much and didn't have much of a testimony).

I'm a ward missionary and she has just been called too and I have seen her testimony go boom and sky rocket. I like her a lot and want her to be happy in the gospel (with me or someone else I don't mind as I am leaving to serve the Lord at the end of the year)   I'm 20 and she’s 18 - I could see myself dating her when I return home from my mission.  (At the moment I'm group dating following your advice about not pairing off before the mission.)

The problem is . ..  she has a boyfriend.

That in its self is not a problem but  he’s not a member of the Church and isn't interested.

I want to help her and support her . . . but as a member of the Church life is all about progression. Baptism to confirmation to callings to taking out endowments and getting married in the temple. I don't want her to get stuck because of this guy.

No denying  I have feelings for her and I don't know if she likes me as more than a friend but she's been visiting me at work and we've been spending a lot of time together; as ward missionaries, as YSA and as a group of friends.

Any thoughts or guidance would be much appreciated.

Thanks,

Hoping to Help



Dear HH,

I don't want to see her get stuck because of this guy either, but she hasn't asked either you or me for our opinion, so there's not much we can or should say or do.  Unless a person is in imminent danger, it's usually best to just keep our opinions to ourselves . . . unless, of course, they ask . . . or they're very young . . . or their welfare falls under our stewardship.

However, as a pair of Ward Missionaries you two certainly could help this young man on his path towards the Gospel, right?

Be his friend; fellowship the guy.

Suggest to her that she bring him to ward functions.

As she grows stronger in her faith, he'll either follow her, join her, or leave her, but that needs to be his choice.

And hers.

Our job is not to break them up so that 2.5 years from now you can date her; our job is to help them both find Joy in Christ.

Great as she may be, my brother, she's taken, and until either of them decides to change that, since you're not exactly in the market yourself, your options are very specific. And very few.

Now, when you come home from the mission, every girl who's not engaged or married and is worthy and willing to get married in the Temple is fair game.

Let's cross that bridge when we get to it.

 - Bro Jo