Things to know

Regularly read by 50,000+ readers in over 140 countries around the world, "Dear Bro Jo" is published every Monday, Wednesday and Friday (with occasional additional posts, too).

This is column is just one guy's opinion, and while he does his best to keep what he thinks, says and writes in-line with the Gospel of Jesus Christ, Bro Jo is not a spokesman or authority for the LDS Church. (And Sister Jo thinks you should know that he's sometimes wrong, and often way too opinionated for his own good.)

Nothing here is meant to take the place of talking with parents, leaders, or Church authorities. Please, if you need serious help, talk to a trusted adult, leader, and / or professional counselor.

Please like our Facebook page, and check it often for Discussions, Notes, Events and just General Good Stuff!

Everything here is copyrighted. If you're going to quote any part of anything here, please get Bro Jo's written permission. You can reach him at dearbrojo@gmail.com.

Monday, March 3, 2014

When Your Ex Becomes a Stalker

Dear Bro Jo,

A couple of months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years.

We dated throughout high school and he decided to attend college at (school name withheld).

We made it through 2 and a half years of long distance when I began to feel like we had really grown apart over the years and we were just not working out as a couple anymore.

He was really upset about the whole thing and kept trying to contact me afterwards and even blindsided me by flying back home and showing up at my house.

I was finally able to get home to stop calling me for a while, but now that he is about to come home for Christmas break at the end of the week, he has started contacting me again and wants to get together over break.

I keep telling him no and that it isn't a good idea.

I am just afraid he is going to show up at my house again and I will have no idea how to handle the situation.

I have tried to be very blunt with him but he doesn't seem to feel the same way about all of this as I do.

I could really use some advice if you have any for this!

Thank you!

- The Ex




Dear Ex,

Too many romantic movies have us believing that if we simply make a stronger effort declaring our love that somehow the other person will change their mind.

It does happen, but not all the time.

He tried.

You're not changing your mind (right?), he's crossing over into stalker behavior (you are honestly afraid and not just bothered?) . . . so it’s time to cut him off.

100%

That means no more calls, texts, or emails.

At all. Anything you do, any form if acknowledgement or communication will, I promise you, make him think he still has a chance.

Seriously.

Block his number.

Don't return his calls.

Refuse any gifts he may drop off or have delivered.

(Don't see him or return them in person, have a friend do that.)

Drop him as a Facebook friend.

Block him from seeing your page.

Remove any pictures you have of him, especially of the two of you together.

If he’s tagged you, remove all if those tags.

And ask your friends to do the same.

Trust me.

It’s the only way.

You'll be doing both if you a favor.

And tell your parents.  In situations like these you really need to have trusted adults in the loop, and your parents are there to help and protect you.

If he gets more aggressive then you and your parents may need to tell your Church leaders and, I really mean this, the police.

Don't take any chances.

- Bro Jo

1 comment:

Laura said...

It may seem a bit extreme to completely block him, because you may feel "he's not a bad guy, I'm just not interested", but trust Bro Jo on this one, it's not extreme. It's safe. And it should hopefully solve the problem.