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Friday, March 27, 2015

What Do You Do When You Know Someone's Not Temple Worthy?

Dear Bro Jo,

So this may be a bit much but it has been driving me crazy because I'm at a lost as to what I should do.

So I know a girl, we grew up together, have known her sense kindergarten and we have maintained a off and on friendship sense then.

We all know how teenage girls can be and that turned out to be what "ruined" our friendship, back during our senior year in high school. Anyways, after recently coming to school here at BYU-I I found out that she was attending school as well, after awkwardly running into each other.

I said hello and because of whatever had happened back in high school she didn't say anything back.

Totally fine whatever.

Well at the end of last semester she actually friend-ed me on the good ol' Facebook, and then shared with me that she had found her eternal companion and expressed to me her excitement about taking him home to California for Christmas and that he would be proposing and then they intend to be married in January.

I was shocked... totally taken by surprise, and this is where the problem lies.

In high school the reason our friendship came to an end was because of the choices she was making.

I felt very uncomfortable supporting her in her decisions and then decided to move on.

Though I'm sure you have figured out the situation already, but to say the least she is NOT temple worthy.

Now the question may be "What if she had repented sense then?"

And I cant say I know for sure but I have prayed about it because it bothers me immensely and I feel strongly that there is a huge problem.

Another thing,

We have a mutual friend who happens to be in the same ward and she actually went to her Bishop about it because of her uneasiness, then after he spoke to her he pursued to tell "Mutual Friend" that she denied it all and says there is not problem.

So therefore she hasn't taken care of it as far as I am concerned.

As much as I want to support her in this exciting period of her life I do not feel comfortable supporting a temple marriage that's not so temple worthy.

So here is the question, as a friend that is strongly worried about the situation what should I do...?

Should I talk to her personally?

Should I speak to someone?

Should I not worry cause its not my place?

Or should I just hope that her conscience gets the best of her and she will make the right decision? 

Thank you, for the help.


- Worried "Friend"

Dear Worried,

You do nothing.

A Facebook add does not a friendship make.

And you two are Not friends.

She hasn't confided in you, hasn't spoken to you about personal things, you don't hang out, and she certainly hasn't asked for your help.

Whether or not she's worthy isn't your business, isn't your place to judge, and frankly isn't even something you'd know.

Remember, she had to have an ecclesiastical endorsement to even apply to the Y of I, and she'll have another two worthiness interviews in order to gain a temple recommend.

If she's lying about her past, that's between her, her Bishop, and her God.

Plus, and please consider this, you may not know what you think you know.

Even if you do, and I mean KNOW like eyewitness testimony in front of a judge, not "well someone told me this ", if no one asks, and no one has, this is more a situation of you needing to get over it than you standing for truth and righteousness.

Trust in God that it will all work out.

He knows the truth, whatever that may be.

The lies we tell ourselves and others do not fool the Lord.

Be polite.

Congratulate her.

And focus on your own life.

- Bro Jo

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