Dear Bro Jo . . . : Scared and Alone - Part 3 of 15: What Kind of Friend Does That?

Things to know

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Monday, June 15, 2015

Scared and Alone - Part 3 of 15: What Kind of Friend Does That?

Dear Bro Jo,

It is hard being the "lone person in the wilderness" as you described it, but I know that I shouldn't let that get me down.

I do miss the comforting feeling we get, but at the same time I don't think I truly know how it feels or how to recognize it.

I had no contact with the Church until I was seven and ended up being baptized at eight, but for most of my life after that my whole family was inactive.

I've only been truly active for these past three years.

I do need to start praying more and reading my scriptures daily, but I just don't have the drive to do it.

I'm sure if I just started doing it, eventually it would become something I want to do daily, but that first step is hard.

About the guy situation, I should probably quit talking to him. It would suck losing the friendship, but I don't need the distraction of him always asking for sex an inappropriate pictures.

Talking to the Bishop about it would probably help me take the steps I need to get out of the situation and to help me repent for the things that I have done in the past with him.

We've never done anything sexual, but he has sent inappropriate text messages and asked for pictures.
Also talking to him would probably help with my problems of keeping The Word of Wisdom.

I"m just too scared. .

Thanks!

- Scared

Dear Scared,

It's always hard to start doing what's good for us.

I certainly know that!

As a guy who needs to constantly work on keeping his weight in check . . . well, right now I can't stop thinking about doughnuts!

I don't mean to make light of your situation, but I do think there are some similarities.

Can I tell you that I don't think friends beg for sex and send (and ask for) inappropriate pictures?

I mean, what kind of "friend" does that?!?

Certainly not one that's thinking about your well-being . . .

I understand that talking to someone can be scary . . . that's Satan working on you.

Seriously, what is there to be afraid of?

It just seems like you've got so much to gain and nothing to lose.

- Bro Jo

1 comment:

Anonymous said...: Talking to the bishop is always one of the scariest things before you go in, and always one of the best things after everything is over. It literally feels like poison is being sucked out of your body that you didn't even realize was there to begin with.; June 15, 2015 at 6:47 PM

Bro Jo's "Dating Rules for Teens"

General
- Date in groups of 2 or more couples minimum, 3 or more couples is recommended
- Pick Up boys first, then girls; drop off girls first, then boys
- Be clean - literally and spiritually
- Plan must be pre-approved by the Parental Committee
- Borrow a Cell Phone from Parental Committee - for emergency use only
- Only date people your Parents have met (a pre-date meeting may be needed - a movie party at your house is a great way to have Mom and Dad meet all of this year's potential dates!)
- Don't flirt with another person's date - you can go out with them next time - focus on the person you're with
- Remember why you're dating: to get to know someone better, to discover what type of person you like to spend time with, and to practice this important social skill
- First Date is with Opposite Sex parent - prove that you're ready
- Keep the conversation going - spend more time asking questions than talking about yourself
- Focus on your companion - DO NOT TEXT YOUR FRIENDS WHILE OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE - it's rude and, well . . . lame
- No dating the same person twice in a row

Boys
- Home by 11:30pm
- Plan / Pick up / Pay
- Plan communicated to date - no surprises!
- Sisters deserve to go out with decent guys regularly, be one of those guys
- Chivalry isn't dead - show respect by opening doors
- It's scary to call, get over it (practice), it's your job to phone
- Be prepared Boy Scout: make sure the car is clean and has gas, be familiar with where you're going, have enough dough
- Keep dates simple and not too long
- No gifts (keep it casual)
- Meet the parents
- Minimum of one date per month

Girls
- Home by 11pm
- Know what's planned - and pre-communicate that plan to your parents
- Dress Modestly
- Teach your date that you deserve to be respected (make him open doors and insist that he use proper language)
- Don't call boys - make them call you (this is a respect tool)

Exceptions
- Formal Dates (like Prom or a Wedding) can extend the curfew 30 minutes
- Flowers may be an appropriate "gift" for formal occassions

Rules for Parents
- Set the Example (married parents should be dating weekly - if you can, occassionally make that a "Date to the Temple" - if you want your kids to go, they need to see you going - great for married-people dates - Bad Idea for first dates)
- Know your kids' friends, their dates and potential dates
- Communicate Expectations
- Help to Plan Ahead - especially in the beginning
- Discuss the Plan - offer council when asked, but don't take control
- Review the Rules
- Pray
- Don't Spy (if it's your date night too, go somewhere else - and get home before your teen)
- Wait Up - near the door, not in your bedroom
- Debrief - Discuss the date with your teen when they come home, before everyone goes to bed
- Be positive and encouraging
- Don't "arrange" dates for your kids with other parents - if the kids find out it'll be bad

REMEMBER PARENTS - You Water What You Want to Grow! (But too much water and the plant will drown.)

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Disclaimer

*This website is not affiliated with the Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-Day Saints, nor does it's author claim to write on behalf of the LDS Church.

for more information on The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-Day Saints go to: http://www.mormon.org/

"Dear Bro Jo" is an entertainment column, and should not been used as a substitute for Professional Counseling, nor is it intended to replace conversations with one's Bishop or other Priesthood Authority.

All posts and content are the property of Dave Johnston (c) 2009-2013.

Dear Bro Jo . . .

Things to know

Monday, June 15, 2015

Scared and Alone - Part 3 of 15: What Kind of Friend Does That?

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