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Friday, October 23, 2015

Coming Back to the Church

Dear Bro Jo,

Hi, Bro Jo.

I was reading some of your posts on your website and was wondering if you could help me.

I grew up in the LDS Church and some time ago I fell away from the gospel.

I met a guy, we weren't in a serious relationship, but we were sexually active.

I fell pregnant with his child.

Before my daughter was born her father moved to another country and started a serious relationship with another woman.

Growing up in the Church I have learned first and foremost that I shouldn't have been having a sexual relationship outside of marriage in the first place, that a person should date before choosing the right person to marry, and that a married husband and a wife should replenish the earth, I also know that a child's mother and father should be the ones who are responsible for this child's upbringing, and in an ideal world they should be together.

In my case, I guess what I am asking is, how does the lord see his daughter who has fallen in such a way that I have?

What would he have me do now?

Should I try to date a man in the Church who has done the same as me?

Would he want me to try and get back together with my daughter's father?

If you think my email would be helpful to other members in a similar situation, feel free to post it on your website (please with hold my name).

If not, a simple reply is all I ask.

Thank you.

- Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

The Lord love's all of His children unconditionally.

That's part of what makes the Gospel so great!

I have no doubt that He wants to welcome you back on to the path that leads you to spending all of Eternity with our Heavenly Father.

To that end, I think what he wants you to do now is:

           1. Pray and read your scriptures every day (even if just a little bit), and teach your daughter to do the same

          2. Start attending all of your Church meetings, especially Sacrament, right away . . . and teach your daughter to do the same.

          3. Go talk to your Bishop. Express to him your desire to return to full-fellowship with the Lord. Listen to your Bishop's counsel, and do what you need to do so that you can eventually hold a Temple Recommend.

I think you need to find a man who (just as I teach my daughters):

         A. Is a worthy and active priesthood holder

        B. Knows how to work and works hard.

        C. Will love and cherish you always.

Those things, in my opinion, are the ones that matter, not a man's past.

Let that good man, when you find him, be your daughter's father.

To be honest, at this point it doesn't seem likely to me that the guy who's in a serious relationship in another country is likely to be the guy.

He certainly doesn't meet any of the criteria!

At least not at this point.

Move forward with faith!

And may the Lord bless you as you do,

- Bro Jo

Dear Bro Jo,

Thank you sooooo much Bro Jo!

Your advice really made my day.  I really do appreciate your help.

You are doing an awesome thing for our young people.

Please keep up the good work.

Maybe one day my younger brothers will need your advice.

Thank you again Bro Jo!

- Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

I'm not sure I deserve all of those kind words . . . but thank you.

God bless,

- Bro Jo

1 comment:

Kristin said...

I read your letter last week during a lunch break, and I had such a strong over whelming feeling of God's love when you asked about how God feels about a daughter who has fallen. He DOES love you and wants you to return to the path that will lead to eternal life! And if you have any doubt about that, read D&C 18: 10-16. Read President Uchtdorf's talk "You Matter to Him" ( There are a lot of great talks/scriptures on the subject, actually, but those are the first couple that come to mind.

Coming to Christ is what the Atonement is all about. Consider the words of one of the sacrament hymns "Oh it is wonderful that He should care for me, enough to die for me". There is nothing you can, have, or will do that will surprise God, and there is nothing that you can, have, or will do that Christ has not already paid the price for. Study the scriptures and the words of the living apostles/prophets to learn about the Atonement, and then set out to learn what it means in your life for you personally.

Your questions and search seem genuine and humble, and I can promise that if you approach the Lord in prayer, ready and willing to act on the promptings that you receive, He will guide you where He wants you to be. I can say that from my own personal experiences. It's not always easy, and you won't always understand right away...or even for a long time afterwards, but God does have something bigger and better planned for you than you can imagine right now.

I hope that you find the answers you're searching for, and I promise that with God's help and through the Atonement, you can find joy in repentance and being a disciples of Christ. You'll find peace in knowing that you're not alone. You'll one day look back and realize that even though things didn't happen the way you thought they would or should, God has made more of you than you ever could have alone.