When Friends Brag

Dear Bro Jo,

I have these two friends (best friends) that brag on themselves a lot.

Their busy schedules and their academics, (they "humble-brag" those) and also their spiritualness.

And everything else!

Sometimes they even subtly belittle me.

Here’s the thing – I’m equals to them in academics and in busy schedules, (and pretty much everything else) but it’s like they don’t recognize it.

When they put themselves above me, I get really bitter inside. Like, I can't me happy when I sense they're putting themselves above me.

I feel hatred and frustration when it happens.

What can I do?

I know I can't just drop them, because I love these girls!

They're great, except for these problems.

Both I know have already been talked to about doing this by our Bishop, because our leaders see it too.

These girls are nice to me, it’s just like everything is a competition & they want me to know that they think they're winning it, even if they know I don't care. And they let me know that with a fake kind of smiley affect.

Ahhh, Bro Jo, what do I do?

Hate to admit it, but because it’s my main issue I'm telling you about, I’m signing off as . . .

- Bitter Feelings




Dear Bitter,

I think your pseudonym says it all.

Look, I can understand how people going on about how great they are can be really annoying . . . few things are bigger turnoffs than incessant bragging.

Sure, there's a point where, as their friend, people should feel like they can tell you things about themselves, including things that make them happy or that they're proud of . . . but that line can be crossed. I don't see this as a "talk to your Bishop" issue.

Like all things, I can see it as a "talk to your Father in Heaven" issue . . . but you'll need to realize that this is as much your problem as it is yours.

I mean, the issue here might be that you need to be more understanding and tolerant. Right?

Because, let's face it, the Lord isn't interested in us telling him how we think other people need to improve (any more than those people themselves want to hear it), but he is interested in helping us improve.

Don't forget that.

Now, all of that said, I DO think you need to get a few more friends.

Don't drop these girls, but increase your circle to include some people who aren't so into themselves.

- Bro Jo