Things to know

Regularly read by 50,000+ readers in over 140 countries around the world, "Dear Bro Jo" is published several times a month.

This is column is just one guy's opinion, and while he does his best to keep what he thinks, says and writes in-line with the Gospel of Jesus Christ, "Dear Bro Jo" is not an LDS Church website. (And Sister Jo thinks you should know that he's sometimes wrong, and often way too opinionated for his own good.)

Nothing here is meant to take the place of talking with parents, leaders, or Church authorities. Please, if you need serious help, talk to a trusted adult, leader, and / or professional counselor.

Please like our Facebook page, and check it often for Discussions, Notes, Events and just General Good Stuff!

Everything here is copyrighted. If you're going to quote any part of anything here, please get Bro Jo's written permission. You can reach him at

Friday, October 2, 2015

Dating for the Future Missionary Girl

Dear Bro Jo,

I love reading your dating advice and am looking for a little advice myself.

A little about me: I'm 18 years old (soon to be 19) and I'm attending school and have my mission call!
So I'm not very focused on boys or dating, but I still want the "practice" of dating.

I frequently went on dates with different guys in high school, which was so fun! I like to date!

I'm also sort of a natural flirt.

My problem is finding guys to date.

Lately I seems that EVERY guy I talk to has a girlfriend!

For example, in my institute class there is an RM who met a girl, went one date.. and BAM suddenly she was his girlfriend.

And the week before that the guy had asked me on a date... Another RM in my class- met his girlfriend at EFY and she lives in a different state.

I could go on with similar stories like these!

I'm very frustrated and embarrassed when I have to learn the hard way that a guy has a girlfriend!

(And sorry, I think it's stupid- can't we not settle on someone and date around before deciding?)

My question: Am I wrong for flirting with guys who have a girlfriend I don't know about?

Am I the only single person out here?


- Soon to Be a Sister Missionary

Dear Sister,

To be very candid with you, if I was a recent RM and Serious Single Dating I wouldn't even think about going on a date with a girl who already has her mission call.

Heck, I wouldn't even go out with a girl who is working on her paperwork.

No offense, but for guys who should be looking for an Eternal Companion, dating you right now is a waste of time and money, neither of which they have in abundance.

Those guys you're complaining about are doing exactly what they're supposed to be doing.

I'm sorry they picked someone other than you, but it's not like you're girlfriend material right now.

If they've found someone that they want to be exclusive with and that wants to be exclusive with them, GREAT!

That's what's SUPPOSED to happen.

It's no different for the boys who are also "this close" to a mission, by the way.

You're certainly not the only single around.

I hear from guys all the time that feel exactly like you do hitting on someone only to find out that their exclusive . . . or married.

Are you wrong for flirting?

No. Of course not.

Heck, unless there's a Ring and a Date, I say "Flirt Away!"

But I think you do need to understand that, as a missionary, dating is off the table (flirting, too) for the next 18+ months.

- Bro Jo

No comments: