Time for a Second Chance?

Dear Bro Jo,

I am really liking this one boy. He is the same age as me. We have known each other for a long time as we are in the same ward. He has had a crush on me for quite some time. I know he still likes me because he told my friend.

My only problem with liking him is that he is not the best kid if you know what I mean. He had a problem with drugs. Luckily he has overcome his addiction and has been reinstated to the priesthood. I just don't know if it is too early for me to start dating him.

My parents really don't approve of me dating him. I disagree because I see a real change in him. He treats me well and has changed his lifestyle.

What should I do?

Yours truly,
Disappointed


Dear Disappointed,

Are you still?

Disappointed, I mean.

Look, while I think (for the most part) any girl should go out on a Date with any boy that asks, there are rules and limitations.

Ah! I feel another Bro Jo List coming on!

Bro Jo’s REASONS a GIRL SHOULD NOT GO OUT WITH A BOY

1) Rules will be broken. Any rules. Dating Rules. Personal Rules. Morality Rules. Rules are good.

2) The Spirit tells you “No”. Don’t use this as an excuse not to go out with the Geeky kid or the Fat kid or the Unpopular Kid, or as an excuse because you’re shy. The Spirit will tell you “No” because it’s unsafe to go. Very different thing, and very important (yet Another Reason why we want to live our lives so that we can always hear and feel the Spirit)

3) There’s No Plan. It’s OK to be surprised, but if he’s not going to tell you the plan, he at least needs to tell your parents – the Date Plan ALWAYS needs to be communicated to someone other than the daters – your parents should know where you’re going to be and when.

4) You Honestly have another Obligation. You can wash your hair anytime. Don’t stand up your family or friends or put off an important school assignment for a date. Of course, there’s something to be said here about pushing one’s own ox in the mire . . .

5) Previous Experience. You one-on-one dated this guy before (because you’re old enough for that), and you realized he is not the guy for you. Many guys should be given a second chance, but not all of them! Also, if you’re Casual Dating age and you haven’t gone out with someone else between now and your last date with this boy, you need to get another date in there. Tell this boy that’s the case, and see if he doesn’t set you up with one of his friends so he can take you out next time.

6) You’re already in a committed relationship. Which does not mean that you’re in love with your 15-year-old Boyfriend . . . it means you’re an adult (and Post-mission for guys) and at least at Level 6 or 7 (Click here for Bro Jo’s 15 LEVELS of a RELATIONSHIP)

And that’s about it, Ladies.

Disappointed, everyone has the opportunity to repent, and everyone should be given a second chance. Don’t ever lie to your parents about whom you’re dating or going out with, but heed their counsel. Perhaps if they got to know him better?

Sounds like it’s time for a YM/YW get-together at your house . . .

- Bro Jo

Dear Bro Jo,

thanks for the advice :)

-no longer disappointed


Dear Friend,

Glad to hear it!

- Bro Jo