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Friday, July 16, 2010

How to Not Be a Victim - Lesson 1

Hello, again!

Thank you for your previous advice. I come to you now, with a different dilemma.

Background info about me. I'm newly 18, a member my whole life, strong LDS family, etc. I dress modestly, carry myself well, take care of my skin and hair and such. I think I'm attractive... at least... I know I'm not ugly.

I usually drive my car with my windows down because my air conditioning doesn't work so well. When I stop at lights, if an older man is in his car, usually looks about 35 +, he will wink, wave, holler, or whistle at me. It's quite uncomfortable and I have come home shaky and on the verge of tears. I've stopped riding with my windows down but this behavior of these men continues in stores or whenever I go out... even men in my neighborhood. Maybe it's because I live in Vegas?

I don't know why it upsets me so badly. I try to ignore it. I just don't know what to do. Please give me any advice you can. Thank you in advance!!

-Scared


Dear Scared,

I believe theses guys exist, but I've never actually known anyone that thinks he can effective woo a woman with catcalls and horn blowing. To me a guy couldn't be less attractive and more of a dork if he wore an "I'm a loser" sign around his neck.

While there may be lots of girls out there that would love to have the attention you're getting, even if for just one day, I can understand where it could get demeaning and obnoxious. And you shouldn't have to feel like you're a prisoner in your own car. To that end I offer up:

Bro Jo's LIST of HOW a GIRL CAN BE LESS ATTRACTIVE in a CAR

1) Get a big, fake diamond looking ring and hang it out the window at them. Perhaps adding to that a phrase like "keep dreaming, Grandpa, you could never afford me!". (Although it IS possible that in Nevada a line like that could get you arrested . . .)

2) Put a "pregnant woman on board" sign in your window (pregnancy is beautiful, but creepy guys will get scared off)

3) Use a clever comeback line, like:

- "thank you, my girlfriend feels the same way"

- "hey, can you hold still? My boyfriend is a Marine and he loves to beat up guys that hit on me. I want to send him your picture"

- "hey, pal, that may have worked for you in the 50's, but girls don't like that anymore"

- "hi! Give me your phone number, my dad's a cop and he'd love to talk to anyone harassing his 16 year old daughter"

- "can you pull up a bit? I need to write your license plate number down for the police"

- (my favorite) "wow, if you could see what I can see right now you'd know exactly why you'll never get a girl like me"

4) Get a big mean dog to ride along with you

5) Turn up the car stereo, preferably playing a Girl Empowerment song or a Female Talk Radio star

6) Honk your horn and don't let it go until they go away

7) Use the moment as a proseliting opportunity "Hi, would you like to learn more about Jesus? Here's a Book of Mormon"


The point is, stop being Scared. Take control. Stand up for yourself.

Don't invite danger, but don't allow yourself to be a victim either.

- Bro Jo

3 comments:

Cassie said...

I am really appreciating the advice you give. I get the same thing (once in a while) and it actually makes me mad. I personally feel that this demeans a woman (although some girls like it-whatever). I love having snappy comebacks on hand.

MaMichelle said...

Ah, BroJo, this is an unending problem for women of all ages! I appreciate the advice, but I think it's off. Any interaction at all with this kind of loser only makes them feel more powerful, which, after all, is what they're after, and the last thing you want is to prolong your interaction by giving them something to latch onto. A better approach is to just roll your eyes, shut your window & drive away.

I'm a 40-year-old mom of a herd of kids, who (I'm sure) is *distinctly* less alluring than the original writer. I still get crap. And my 15 -year-old daughter gets crap. And our friends, old, young, beautiful, less-so, etc ALL get crap. Even one of my friends who wears a burqa-type thing sometimes gets harassed! I think it has nothing to do with us, and everything to do with the idiocy of the men in question. Sadly, it's just part of life in our society & learning to cope is a necessary life skill. Take a martial-arts class or whatever to help yourself feel less fear and more confidence because you can't change *them* you can only change you.

Mee said...

Number 7 is sooo good! Hahahahahahahah X'D