Things to know

Regularly read by 50,000+ readers in over 140 countries around the world, "Dear Bro Jo" is published several times a month.

This is column is just one guy's opinion, and while he does his best to keep what he thinks, says and writes in-line with the Gospel of Jesus Christ, "Dear Bro Jo" is not an LDS Church website. (And Sister Jo thinks you should know that he's sometimes wrong, and often way too opinionated for his own good.)

Nothing here is meant to take the place of talking with parents, leaders, or Church authorities. Please, if you need serious help, talk to a trusted adult, leader, and / or professional counselor.

Please like our Facebook page, and check it often for Discussions, Notes, Events and just General Good Stuff!

Everything here is copyrighted. If you're going to quote any part of anything here, please get Bro Jo's written permission. You can reach him at dearbrojo@gmail.com.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Keep Smilin'!

Dear Bro Jo,

I'm a 14 year old girl and I am having some boy trouble. There's this guy I had a crush on, (he is LDS too) and I would see him smile at me and I would smile at him. We never talked before, but my brother knew him. He would always stare at me and smile.

Then, I never really saw him for a while.

Then all of the sudden I saw him and started liking him all over again. And then, it went back to the whole 'staring and smiling' thing again. Suddenly, I find out he just broke up with a girlfriend he had and he's ONLY 14! I also found out that this boy has already had a couple of girlfriends. It really hurts me that a LDS guy like him wouldn't following a prophet's teachings.

For me, I'm really strict on my standards, people always make fun of me for being modest and not dating yet. He's a really nice guy, my brother told me. Lately, I have been trying to get over this guy but I can't seem to. Should I give up on this guy? If so, how do I get over him? Am I too young to be worrying about guys now? Thanks for your help, Bro Jo :)

-LDS girl


Dear LDSG,

This is going to sound harsh, but seriously! You're only 14! You've never dated this guy . . . he's not your boyfriend . . . there's nothing to "get over" or give up on.

You're not too young to like guys, that's OK.

But yeah, you are too young to be either burning bridges or worrying. The guy had a girlfriend. It's not like he was a lying, thieving, porn addict . . . I wouldn't refuse to ever dance with him at another Church Dance simply because he openly liked a girl that liked him back.

It's OK for you to like him. It's OK for you to think he's cute. It's OK to be at the same get-togethers and smile at him.

It's NOT a good idea to be his new girlfriend, so stay away from that.

Keep to your standards - you're doing the right thing!

When you're both 16, if he's not a bad guy, and he asks you to go on a Casual Group Date or two, by all means go.

Maybe your brother can be part of the group.

- Bro Jo

1 comment:

Sarah said...

I agree with Bro Jo on this one hundred percent!

Who knows what other define as a girl friend. It could be that he liked a girl and she liked him back. Besides, even if he did have a GF, he has 2 yrs to change and grow and get a testimony of the prophet's counsel. Either way, you have 2 years to be friends and share a smile with one another. Get to know each other at school or church activities. It's always nice to have another friend. You can NEVER have too many friends! ;)