Dear Bro Jo . . . : Age Differences: 16 and 18

Things to know

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Thursday, February 23, 2012

Age Differences: 16 and 18

Dear bro Jo,

Well your probably sick of hearing from me . . .

Thank you for answering my last question, and for your awesome blog!!!!

Just a quick Q, do you think that 16 and 18 is reasonable, for dating??

Thanks for all your help and guidance,

Book Worm

Dear Book Worm,

Sure. Casual Group Dating, but sure.

And I'm never sick of hearing from you.

- Bro Jo

2 comments:

Mama Cheese said...: Interesting thing, DBJ...like you, I see no problems with 16 year olds casual group dating 18 year olds. But it's almost always 16 year old girls dating 18 year old guys. Why do you think that is? I know in our household the 18-year-old son is just utterly uninterested in dating at all until after his mission, and the 16-year-old daughter has always gotten along better with older people. In your opinion why is it so much more common for the guy to be older, even when casual group dating pre mission? (I totally understand how the mission often creates a 2-4 year age difference between spouses with the husband usually being older.); February 25, 2012 at 7:36 PM
Bro Jo said...: I think it's because 18 year old guys and 16 year old girls are often not too far apart in terms of maturity, but seldom is the opposite (18 year old girl and 16 year old guy) the case.

Part of that may be physiological (consider when puberty onsets) . . . part of that may be that 18 year old girls intimidate the heck out of 16 year old guys.

- Bro Jo; February 25, 2012 at 10:14 PM

Bro Jo's "Dating Rules for Teens"

General
- Date in groups of 2 or more couples minimum, 3 or more couples is recommended
- Pick Up boys first, then girls; drop off girls first, then boys
- Be clean - literally and spiritually
- Plan must be pre-approved by the Parental Committee
- Borrow a Cell Phone from Parental Committee - for emergency use only
- Only date people your Parents have met (a pre-date meeting may be needed - a movie party at your house is a great way to have Mom and Dad meet all of this year's potential dates!)
- Don't flirt with another person's date - you can go out with them next time - focus on the person you're with
- Remember why you're dating: to get to know someone better, to discover what type of person you like to spend time with, and to practice this important social skill
- First Date is with Opposite Sex parent - prove that you're ready
- Keep the conversation going - spend more time asking questions than talking about yourself
- Focus on your companion - DO NOT TEXT YOUR FRIENDS WHILE OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE - it's rude and, well . . . lame
- No dating the same person twice in a row

Boys
- Home by 11:30pm
- Plan / Pick up / Pay
- Plan communicated to date - no surprises!
- Sisters deserve to go out with decent guys regularly, be one of those guys
- Chivalry isn't dead - show respect by opening doors
- It's scary to call, get over it (practice), it's your job to phone
- Be prepared Boy Scout: make sure the car is clean and has gas, be familiar with where you're going, have enough dough
- Keep dates simple and not too long
- No gifts (keep it casual)
- Meet the parents
- Minimum of one date per month

Girls
- Home by 11pm
- Know what's planned - and pre-communicate that plan to your parents
- Dress Modestly
- Teach your date that you deserve to be respected (make him open doors and insist that he use proper language)
- Don't call boys - make them call you (this is a respect tool)

Exceptions
- Formal Dates (like Prom or a Wedding) can extend the curfew 30 minutes
- Flowers may be an appropriate "gift" for formal occassions

Rules for Parents
- Set the Example (married parents should be dating weekly - if you can, occassionally make that a "Date to the Temple" - if you want your kids to go, they need to see you going - great for married-people dates - Bad Idea for first dates)
- Know your kids' friends, their dates and potential dates
- Communicate Expectations
- Help to Plan Ahead - especially in the beginning
- Discuss the Plan - offer council when asked, but don't take control
- Review the Rules
- Pray
- Don't Spy (if it's your date night too, go somewhere else - and get home before your teen)
- Wait Up - near the door, not in your bedroom
- Debrief - Discuss the date with your teen when they come home, before everyone goes to bed
- Be positive and encouraging
- Don't "arrange" dates for your kids with other parents - if the kids find out it'll be bad

REMEMBER PARENTS - You Water What You Want to Grow! (But too much water and the plant will drown.)

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for more information on The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-Day Saints go to: http://www.mormon.org/

"Dear Bro Jo" is an entertainment column, and should not been used as a substitute for Professional Counseling, nor is it intended to replace conversations with one's Bishop or other Priesthood Authority.

All posts and content are the property of Dave Johnston (c) 2009-2013.

Dear Bro Jo . . .

Things to know

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Age Differences: 16 and 18

2 comments:

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