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Friday, October 19, 2012

Mission Age Announcement Friday: Pre-Mission Dating Advice . . . for Girls

Dear Readers,

While it's typically several months (sometimes a year or more) before an email I receive gets posted on "Dear Bro Jo", so many of you have thoughts feelings and questions related to the "Church Lowers Mission Service Age" announcement that I've decided to dedicate the next few Fridays to just that topic.

I look forward to your emails, questions, and our discussion of how this wonderful and amazing new course will change (if it does) our LDS dating culture and how it affects your lives.

Hope you enjoy the emails!

God bless,

- Bro Jo

Dear Bro Jo,

Hi Bro Jo!

I was wondering if you could give some guidelines for pre-mission dating in light of President Monson's recent announcement of the age change for missionaries.

For me as a female freshman at BYU, I am finding that the guys I am dating will be getting back from their missions at about the same time that I will get back from mine, now that I can leave at age 19.

Does this affect pre-mission dating at all?

Of course I understand that you should NOT make any commitments or anything like that before a mission, because that is just distracting and you never know if you'll actually want to continue the relationship after years have passed. But what do you think of things like holding hands and kissing (totally innocent, short, not passionate or anything inappropriate) when both of you are planning on going on a mission next year?

I mean, for my age group very specifically, a lot of the girls and guys will both be leaving at 19, so it is reasonable that both will still be single when they return, since it will only be months difference at most. I was just curious what you think, as this whole mission age change completely changes the dynamics of dating at BYU, and I'm sure in other YSA groups.


Freshman Pre-mi Girl

 Dear Pre-Mi,

 I don't think guys should Serious Single Date until they come back from their mission.

 Because women are not under the same obligation, I think they should feel free to Serious Single Date (once they've graduated High School) , especially if the mission is a year away. I've always told guys AND girls that I think dating should stop once the application is in. After all, what's the point?

I see no problem with simple kisses and hand holding on dates, even if one is only 16.

Sister Jo and I have spent several hours discussing and speculating on the social changes that may be a result of the new Missionary Age Requirements.

Ultimately only time will tell.

Will 19 year old girls who choose not to go on a mission be the most popular women at BYU Because there a rare commodity and 20 year old guy missionaries want to date and marry girls younger than themselves?

Will we see a bunch of 18 year old girls getting married because guys want to snatch them up before they leave for 2 years?

Will "MGs" no longer mean Missionary Girls for waiting for a boy to come home from a mission but Missionary Guys who are waiting for a girl to come home?

Is this the end of guys getting married as soon as they come home from their missions?

Interesting stuff.

But as I said, we'll just have to wait and see.

Whatever happens will be what the Lord wants, of course; for us it will be interesting discovering what that is.

- Bro Jo

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I don't think this is the end of guys marrying right after their missions. I think the change makes it easier for a guy to follow Pres. Kimball's counsel that courtship and marriage come after mission, and education comes after marriage, since the mission could be gotten out of the way earlier now. (When a boy started college between high school and a mission, it was a bigger temptation to finish school when he returned instead of marrying). Certainly it won't always happen that way, especially if guys want to wait and marry an RM sister, but I'm also thinking that lowering the age for sisters to serve won't result in so many women suddenly being gone at this age that a man can't find a wife right after his mission.